#the kitchen is overflowing with eggs from the chickens outside

[lovethisfatcryptid]

I think I'm gonna trip on Wednesday or Thursday. My birthday is on Sunday and the house is full of kids on the weekend. Not ideal for a chill shroom trip. I'd rather wake up around 8 am on a school day and eat my shrooms right after breakfast. Or with breakfast. Whatever.

Oh what if I make an omelet with finely chopped mushrooms folded into it? Hmmm 🤔

[rikilouvre]

Haven.

no warnings, no anything, just a short trip to cottagecore morning with jeonghan <3 theme song is this is how you fall in love by jeremy zucker & chelsea cutler.

————

you were gently woken up by your senses, accompanied by the harmonic chirping birds out your window that was almost entirely covered with leaves, branches, and vines. the warm sun was just about to rise – it's dawn. the cool fresh breeze of air helped you start your day refreshingly.

you stretched your body and took a glance at the leafy window – beams of the sunlight entering the cabin room as the only source of illumination, aside from the candlelight on your wooden table that got blown by the air. you finally stood to your feet, put on your slippers, fixed your white wrinkled nightgown, and went to prepare for the day.

you stepped in the kitchen when you sighted a full breakfast plated for two people, traces of smoke from the well-cooked eggs and freshly-baked bread were still present. you took a piece of bread before going out the open door hanging. your eyes adjusted to the vivid scenery of the sun rising – the farm animals seem to have been already fed judging from the overflowing food trays of the horses, pigs, cows, and chickens.

a distant yelp came from the farther side of the field – your dog came to greet you happily. "hi, maximus." you fondled its fur before it starts to wiggle out of your hold. the furry pet took tiny steps back and barked, then it ran away back to where it came from – the open field. you followed the little dumpling, chasing down its scrambling pawsteps "max, where are you going?" you called.

you ran a beeline to have found not just your pet maximus, but also jeonghan who has his back facing you while crouching down the dewy grass. "han?" you hesitantly called to him, he seemingly got startled and was picking something up from the ground. he turned around to face you, "hi, darling."

the moment you saw his ethereal face, his loving eyes, his soft lips, his pale complexion, his overall presence towards you, it's like the world stopped functioning – the river splashing became quiet, the birds stopped chirping, the tree branches stopped rustling, the flowers started blooming, there came someone who was brighter than the sun. all you could do was stand your ground and let the world make things a lot more magical by letting the breeze pass by, making you tuck your stray hair behind your ear, beaming from ear-to-ear.

he slowly walked up to you, brushed his hand past his forehead to wipe the sweat off his face. he gently handed you a handful of flowers – with colors white, lavender, pink, gold, and orange. you held the flowers as he cups your hands with his, "cosmos. i know you love them." too cliche to say or even feel but your heart skipped a beat, preparing your breath to tell him "thank you." and you received an endearing smile from him.

his precious gaze at you observes every perfection there is on your face. "you're glowing." he sweetly told you as the bright beams of the sunlight shines on you, making the brown in your eyes and hair pop. he made you look his eyes by lifting your chin with his index finger, "can i?" han glanced on your eyes and darted on your forehead – to which you smiled as a form of giving permission. and he kissed your forehead lovingly. your eyes widened, cheeks heating up – every touch feels so electric. he lead your shoulder to turn around, "c'mon. we don't want the breakfast to end up cold." the two of you walked back home – never letting go of each other's hands – with max on your tails, ofcourse.

you enjoyed your breakfast together. infront of the frosted kitchen window, a glass vase was filled with water and the freshly-handpicked cosmos from outside the field – so colorful and alive, just like the undying love present in the air.

[doubledgesword-2]

So someone stole my work, thought it was a good idea to impersonate me and claimed it was their own. So I’m posting it here so people know I’m the original author. Art is not mine. Part 1 Soulmate au! Please do not te upload somewhere else!!

WARNING NON-CON AND EXPLICIT SMUT

It was weird but not unheard of to have three soulmates. Lots of people reassured you it just meant more love for you. You, on the other hand, didn't felt it. Reading the names on both your wrists and the one on the top right corner of your back, just gave you chills. Not the good kind.

After doing some research on the names and better yet the last names of the three, you concluded that nothing good was going to come from this. You weren't a hunter, neither were you powerful. One could almost say you were average or normal when it came to brute strength.

So you did what any sane person would do. You disappeared. With some expert help and a lot of money involved, you erased yourself from the records, not leaving so much as a hair behind. It wasn't ideal, but you didn't want to spend the rest of your life running from a new enemy every week. Besides, if the three hadn't bothered to look for you, you figured you'd do them a favor, as angsty as it sounds.

Rural life wasn't bad. Leaving the big crowded cities and trading them for the quiet of the forest; it did you some good. You had a little cottage in the woods. Very far from anything and anyone. In the beginning, it was scary. What if something were to happened to you? Who would you run to? But as time went by, your experiences gave you the wisdom you needed.

So here you were gathering some water, inside a wooden bucket, from the nearby river. You pressed the bucket to your hip, leaning over to support the weight as your other hand had a bunch of pretty flowers. A nice touch for the kitchen today.

The forest was quiet today, peaceful with some little bird songs and the stream's running water. You walked amongst the trees happily, breathing in the cold air. Although the sun was beaming right on you, it didn't make you feel hot. The cold weather of the approaching winter contrasted the heat nicely inside your sweater.

Still, you kept walking blissfully, unaware of the stares focused on you. You did felt the paranoia hit you in the back, but this forest was vast, and in the time you'd lived here, no one has come across your little cottage.

Said cottage was in view as you walked. The sun setting meant you were on time to snug inside the house and turn on the chimney. Sure the smoke would be an indication that someone was there. But who would be looking for you? You had no family; cutting ties with your friends was easy since the relationships were shallow, and quitting the job felt like relief. You walked by your little garden, which was your pride and hobby, plus the only thing giving the house feel personality. The cottage wasn't like any standard wooden house. You asked it to be made and even pitched in with the workers to put some sweat into it. Afterward, all plans were equally erased like you. The house worked on solar panels, giving you the luxury of some electricity, which came in handy for the winter. A small chicken coop on the side gave you eggs and helped with the crops. It had the piping and whatnot, but overall everything was very eco friendly as you had insisted. You liked the place, and it seemed like a beautiful house to live the rest of your days without a worry. Sure it did get lonely during those sleepless nights. The ones were you thought too much about why your soulmates never cared to find you and reject you straight out. You didn't felt like dying by their hand. You weren't a fool; you knew their reputation, but something inside you gave you some light to hope. The light that you ended up squashing just because. The four of you were better off without each other. You really didn't want to be involved in their jobs and amusements.

You went inside, placing the bucket outside the front of the house and closing the heavy wooden door behind you locking it in the process. Inside the kitchen, you replaced the dying flowers with the new batch and quickly watched your hands to cook some dinner. You lighted the chimney in the living room, making the house feel warm and snuggly while putting some music on. You had taken off your shoes at the door and were parading around the house in fluffy socks, which made you slide into the kitchen as you danced like no one was watching.

As you stirred the pot and dropped more spices and ingredients into it, you heard a light tapping against the window at the kitchen side. Being in the forest had made you immune to the peculiar noises and the groans of the house when it was cold outside. You were pretty much anti-jump scare, but you were still new, so it was a work in progress.

You cleaned your hands on your apron and made your way to the window. You wanted isolation, but you weren’t completely crazy to be all alone in the woods. That’s why you made a friend.

“Well, hello there, big guy! How was your day today?” You opened the window, letting in the medium-sized fluffy black cat and closing it after he was inside.

You received a mewl as the cat rubbed himself against your legs and jumped on the turned dining chair. The kitchen and the dining room were fused, so you were sitting and reading while keeping an eye on dinner.

“Wow, taking my place? You’re rich, you know that?” The cat almost seems to shrug, giving you another mewl and licking his paws.

You smiled, shaking your head and focusing on dinner.

After everything was done, you washed the dishes and cleaned the surfaces. Just because you had a cat didn’t mean you wanted to give the mice a reason to come in. You rubbed the back of your neck, squeezing the spot as you walked towards your bathroom to wash up. The ball of black fluff eagerly following behind you to enter your room.

“You just want to get on my bed, don’t you? Here I was thinking you wanted to accompany me,” the cat meowed, jumping on the bed and kneading the folded blankets.

You chuckled, lighting the small fireplace inside the room. You turned to your vanity, picking your night clothes and turning to bathe. The warm water did help you relax more, maybe you shouldn’t carry the bucket with one arm. But the flowers you picked were worth it.

You came into the room towel in your hair and dressed in a robe. Only to stop abruptly, eyes widening at the fact that a man was sitting on your bed petting your cat like it was the most normal thing. He didn’t turn to look at you, and you quietly walked back, towel still in hand, but not far. You bumped into a hard chest, and if you hadn’t turned around to look, you would’ve thought it was the bedroom door. You gasped really scared at the fact that there were two men inside your bedroom, and you hadn’t even heard them come in. The man in front of you grinned joyfully and took a step towards you. Your eyes immediately went to the window in your room, and before you knew it, your feet had carried you there.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” the cliche rolled off one of their tongues, making you annoyed and irked despite the adrenaline rush.

You turned glaring, and that’s when spotted the third man on the other of the room leaning against your vanity with a book in hand. This was bad. Really bad. It had been a short couple of years, but you could see the resemblance. They had found you.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, you’re quite hard to find” the man with the slicked-back hair closed the book looking at you with cold black eyes and the ghost of a smile. One, you didn’t return.

As he spoke the tall and pale, magenta hair one took two steps toward you placing his hand on his waist. You took a step back, eyeing him warily. You didn’t smile or showed any joy at the fact that your soulmates had actually found you. You didn’t felt the overflowing love people used to say you would for having more than one soul mark. Instead, all you felt was cold and afraid for your life, fear running icily in your veins. Despite having a nen ability, you knew little of it ,and you could feel the aura they were letting off. It didn’t reassure you. On the contrary, it made you feel like cornered prey.

“What do you want?” Your voice could be considered an authoritative whisper as it flowed shakily pass your lips.

There was a moment of silence, and then the one dressed as a clown laughed merrily at your question. You could see amusement slip through the cold expression from the man that had spoken before.

“Danchou, I thought she would be smart,” the clown asked, looking to the man to you.

Your eyes hardened, annoyed, but still, you said nothing. The only person who hasn’t spoken was the long black hair one petting your cat—that fluffy traitor.

“Well, maybe she doesn’t recognize us. That gives us the chance to introduce ourselves. My name’s Chrollo Lucilfer.”

“Hiso-“

“I know who you are, who all of you are,” you interrupted, looking at all three of them, making the clown arch a brow in interest. “That doesn’t answer what you’re doing here or what do you want” you were angry and scared, nervously looking into their eyes.

“My dear darling, well, that’s easily answered. We’re here to take you home, make you happy, and all the in-betweens,” the clown expressed, giving you a playful feeling. He was waiting for you to make a move so he could jump at you. They all were.

“Thank you, but I am home. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would like to sleep, so if you could just leave?” You have them a sardonic smile hoping against hope they would accept the rejection and actually leave. It was a fool's wish.

“But soulmates are supposed to be together,” the man with long black hair finally spoke. His voice monotone and calm. It made your skin crawl. Oh, hell, no.

He finally turned to look at you, his big black eyes almost swirling and enchanting, a manipulator at its finest. You looked to the side, avoiding him.

“Then I could only assume that you three have found your soulmates. You’re together.”

“But it gets oh so lonely without you, little fruit” Hisoka was done playing from afar and slowly walked closer to you.

This made your bloodlust flare in a warning. They all got goosebumps just looking at it, feeling the sheer intention. It wasn’t as developed as theirs, but the fact that you weren’t afraid to push them away made their paints tight.

Hisoka let out a low groan, eyes half-lidded and looking at you with a perverted smile. You looked at your cat; you could get him later, and they were smart enough to survive. Then the towel in your hand and as Hisoka came to stand closer to you, you gripped the towel hard and threw it at him, covering his face for a brief moment that allowed you to pass him. They knew you weren’t a fighter, heck you had run from them in fear. It made you a smart coward in their eyes, but they weren’t expecting you to be so quick-witted and resourceful. They should have with you living in the middle of the forest and all. You slipped into the short hallway, feeling the breeze of something spearing near your face but missing you. It made you run even faster into the living room. What you weren’t expecting was the sudden failure of your body.

The minute you slipped into the hallway, Illumi had launched several needles your way. Even though some missed their mark, one hitting you square in the back was enough. You crumbled to the floor, clutching the small sofa and leaning on it as if you were crying. You might as well be—the intense pain coming from the center of your spine emitting pulse-like electricity. The stinging sensation made a couple of fears fall down. It left you breathless.

The trio calmly made their way into the living room, looking at your slumped form.

“Soulmates are meant to be together, with time you’ll understand. Staying with us is best for you.” Illumi was crouching near your form, grabbing your arms and pulling you to lean on him instead as he petted your hair for comfort. You tried to move away or do something to get out of his cold embrace, but each attempt was met with more pain. You whimpered.

“That was a rush. It makes me wonder...~” Hisoka groaned obscenely behind Illumi, talking to Chrollo.

“She does have spirit. That could prove to be a problem.”

“Oh~ but I don’t want to break her yet. Nice toys are so hard to come by these days.”

Your sniffles cut through their banter. Your form was trembling on Illumi’s lap as he kept petting your hair.

“Don’t move” Illumi’s hand slipped to your back, and you felt the sting of the needle being plucked. Your body relaxed, letting out a sigh and breathing greedily, but still shaking. The phantom pain made you involuntarily cling to Illumi’s arms for comfort, which made the assassin’s heart flutter. It was proof that you needed them, they just had to show you.

“We should show her how much she needs us” Illumi slightly turned to look at the other two, still holding you to his chest. His face expressionless as he spoke, but the excitement in his eyes can’t be denied.

Hisoka’s eyes gleamed, his tongue coming out to slowly lick his lips as he approached Illumi and crouched down close to the two of you.

“Hmmm, splendid idea, we have to show our little flower what she’s been missing all this time” Hisoka took a strand of your hair, twirling it and pulling slightly.

“Then it’s decided,” Chrollo’s voice felt like the judge giving the verdict to seal your fate away.

Hisoka didn’t wait for Illumi, he simply took you from his arms, bridal style and clutched you tightly to his chest. As if you were some long lost heirloom, he just found and couldn’t part with. You struggled a bit, jerking in his grasp, but the recent pain had left your muscles tender and sore.

Fighting was encouraged by them but had been diminished with their antics.

The way to your room felt like a death row walk, and you couldn’t help but keep wiggling pathetically in Hisoka’s strong arms. He looked down at you, his yellow half-lidded eyes were already a telltale of what’s to come. He bit his lips when you gave him your best wide doe eyes, and you swore he sped walk, feeling the vibration of a suppressed moan deep in his chest.

He brought you down on the bed, tenderly like a lover would on their first time. Your tired body succumbed to the comfort of the mattress and the warmth of the sheets. Hisoka lowered himself, pressing his body to yours and letting you feel his arousal hot in his trousers. Alarmed, you tried once more to move, but he brought his face close to your ear.

“Don’t worry, little one, we’ll be gentle….at least this time.” He bit your earlobe, kissing the spot to soothe the sting “Mmmm, but do forgive me if I just can’t help it~” he moaned slowly, grinding his hips into yours dragging the length up and down your thighs.

You whimpered and brought your hands up to his chest, pushing him as best as you could. He grinned and sat up, still hunched over you. Looking deep into your eyes, he took his shirt off, never cutting off the eye contact. Hisoka then took your hands, trying to push off his thighs and placed them on his chiseled chest, dragging them to touch him. He moaned obscenely, and you couldn’t help but blush at his well-built frame. Your hands felt the muscles contract and relax as your fingers, guided by him, gingerly touched every single spot. Hisoka bit his lower lip, looking down at you. You haven’t even noticed he had let go of your hands, and you were freely roaming, touching so softly his chest, his stomach...it made it all the more difficult to not take you right here.

He didn’t want to scare you; after all, this was the beginning of countless nights and days of pleasure to come. Your red nose, puffy eyes, and pouty lips made him hot. As your fingers grazed his nipple ever so softly, he bursted, throwing his head back and to moan loudly. You retracted your hand alarmed, and that’s when you noticed you had been almost lying down on top of Chrollo’s lap. The man’s fingers were tangled in your locks as he massages your head.

“Hisoka, you’re going to scare her away being so loud,” Illumi said from behind Hisoka. His face on leaning over his shoulder and his hands grabbing his hips. Hisoka’s hand came up to caress Illumi’s cheek, and he once more looked down at you through glazed and sensual eyes.

“Mmm, I just can’t help it. She’s so innocent...those eyes...It turns me on~” his hips jerked up quickly, grinding against you.

“Make her feel good first,” Illumi whispered in Hisoka’s ear, making eye contact with you, as he kissed the clown’s neck.

Hisoka crawled back, his hands softly running down your thighs. Chrollo unmade the knot holding your robe closed, and uncovered your body to them. You gasped, remembering you had just showered and had nothing but your dignity. The sight of your skin glowing under the dim moonlight coming from the window mixed with the reds and oranges from the crackling fire made their mouths water. Your squirming was pitiful at best, hands trying to grab the robe and close it, but Chrollo snatched your wrists pinning them down beside your head. He lowered his face closer to you and dive into your lips. His locks coming to the sides of his face and his soft lips molding against yours. For a moment, you forgot who these men were. Their sweet caresses here and there as Hisoka brought his face to nuzzle your stomach leaving kisses and marks wherever his lips touch. Chrollo took your alarmed gasp as an opportunity letting his tongue inside to explore. He groaned when you trying to escape him, lightly bumped into his arousal. He let your lips go, both of you breathing heavily.

He wanted more. "You are the greatest jewel I have ever stolen" he muttered his minty breath fanning over your abused lips.

Hisoka lowered all the way in between your legs, but you self-consciously closed them from him. He pouted like a kid who had seen his new toy but couldn't have it. Illumi pried them open, putting everything on display. Hisoka chuckled darkly, his hands rubbed your thighs and knees, and then they rested on the bed. Seeing your chance, you attempted to close them once more, but couldn’t. Looking up, you saw Hisoka smirking at you with a dark knowing look. He did it and now you could see the pink substance sticking your legs open to the bed.

“Bungee gum, love, has the capabilities of both gum and rubber.” His face came closer to your core, you could feel his excited breath, and it gave you goosebumps. He moaned bitting and kissing the inside of your thighs “I can’t wait to see your beautiful nen. The thought makes my pants so tight~” he licked his lips and dived into your entrance.

You moaned a bit overwhelmed at the sensation of his tongue, sucking and exploring inside without a care. The slurping sounds made you blush even harder. Still, you couldn’t deny the arousal building up, or the knot in your stomach tightening even more. At the same time, Chrollo and Illumi took it upon themselves to suck on your chest. Their teeth grazed your nipples, with the danger of biting down, and your back arched perfectly, allowing them more access to your perked nipples.

The pleasure was overriding all the red flags and alarms going off in your head, not too long ago. It was making you pliant, your heated body melting into their touches. You bucked your hips into Hisoka, and his hands came to rest on your hips, making you whine. He smiled, his tongue licking a slow and torturous strip up your slit ending on your clit. He latched on to your bud, eliciting a whine, brows furrowing at the electric feeling surging through your body.

Then something snapped inside you; you shut your eyes, letting out a loud moan, your body shaking as pleasure rolled all over your body. Faintly you heard Hisoka moaned equally loud, slurping all your liquids like he was starved. While still in your high, you didn’t notice Hisoka take off the rest of his clothes, his arousal standing proud. He crawled back on you, taking your knees and lodging himself between them.

Chrollo caressed your cheek, petting your hair. He lowered to give your forehead a tender kiss. “It’ll only hurt for a moment, (Y/N)”

Your eyes widened when you felt Hisoka’s length prodding at your entrance.

“W-wait,” you slurred, but he entered you gently, moaning at the warmth and slick coating him, beckoning him further into your depths.

You cried out as he went further inside until he was buried to the hilt. He keened in satisfaction, waiting a bit, and soaking up your walls’ sensation spasming around him.

“You’re so tight…so warm, mmm, it feels sooo good~” his hips started to slowly move.

Illumi, went behind Hisoka, kissing his neck and leaving marks all over. Meanwhile, Chrollo couldn’t have enough of your chest. Sucking and biting all he could, hands grabbing both your mounds and squeezing, decorating your skin in purples and reds. You mewled at all the sensations, eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

“Make her cum” Illumi whispered to Hisoka loud enough for you to hear. Hisoka grabbed your hips, speeding up, leaving you breathless, hips bucking, and meeting his thrusts.

“Mmmm, (Y/N)…I love that look in your eyes~” he moans thrusting even faster, your slick making it easier for him to slip in and out. Illumi went down where the two of you met and started to suck on your clit. You went crazy, the pleasure too much to contain it. “Arghh, she’s getting tighter…I can’t…” Hisoka moaned, burying himself deeper. One of his hands gripped your hip hard, surely to bruise, while the other held back Illumi’s hair as he sucked on you.

Suddenly the forming knot in your stomach tightened until hot white pleasure exploded through you. You squealed, liquids gushing around Hisoka, making his hips stutter, feeling your walls spams around him. He came, bursting inside you as your walls milked him for what his worth.

“Take it…Take it all~” Hisoka gasped, moaning breathlessly, his hips dragging out the orgasm.

Hisoka pulled out, making you mewl. The oversensitivity and tenderness were a bit too much. Through half-lidded eyes, you looked as Illumi took Hisoka’s spot, cleaning you up with his tongue. Chrollo stood and shed his coat on top of the vanity, his clothes joining the others on the floor. Illumi’s tongue swirled Hisoka’s cum and yours, lappin everything greedily, he then crawled on you kissing you roughly, making you taste the result of your joining. Your lips separated, leaving a strand of saliva connecting your mouths. With aggressive desperation he hugged you, pulling you flushed against his naked chest feeling how heated you'vemade him. Then you felt yourself being flipped over, Illumi under you.

Alarmed, you moved a bit, but Chrollo grabbed your hips, stilling you. He crawled over you, pulling your robe off of you and kissing your shoulder gently, his hands went softly down your spine giving you shivers. Illumi kissed and bit your neck, making you whimper as you felt his length prodding your entrance.

“It’ll be alright, just enjoy it,” He whispered, his monotone voice breathless as he guided himself into your slit. You mewled at the feeling, and he quietly gasped at your warmth.

Your eyes looked into his deathly ones, watching them swirl with different emotions. Yet, the main one being lust and adoration. His black hair fanning behind him gave him a mystical and beautiful look, he looked majestic, like some forest elf of sorts. You bit your lip holding back the moan. That’s when you felt a bite on your left butt cheek.

“Sorry, you look good enough to eat~” Hisoka drawled, and then you felt a finger prod your forbidden hole. You squealed, trying to writhe away, but it only made Illumi hiss in pleasure and grab your hips hard.

“Don’t tease me, (Y/N),” he groaned into your ear, biting down on your shoulder to muffle his moan, as your walls flustered around him.

“N-no, p-please. Not there,” you cried out, the feeling of his finger weird and alien to you.

“It’ll be alright, (Y/N)-Chan, we only want to make you feel good~.”

Hisoka was in front of you, lowering to your eye level, his yellow eyes lidded as he licked his lips and went in for a fevered kiss.

Illumi looking at the two of you kiss so wantonly, started moving his hips gently, biting his own lips at the display. Chrollo added another finger preparing you for him, the scissoring giving you chills. Yet, as Hisoka kissed you tasting himself in your tongue and lips, he distracted you from the prodding. He separated, panting heavily watching as some drool came down the corner of your lip.

He enjoyed your fucked out state.

Without warning, Chrollo entered the tip. It made your eyes widen to feel the burning sensation contrasting your skin with the coldness of fear. You gave a muffled screech, your walls closing on Illumi and making him unable to hold back the groan.

Chrollo slowly pushed inside until he was buried deep. He inhaled shakily, feeling you tighten around his intruding length. The feeling made him groan lowly.

Tears came rolling down your cheeks, you had never felt so full. In one night, the entirety of your virginity was lost.

Hisoka watched as the two men he liked the most, made sweet slow love to you, pulling adorable noises from your swollen and abused lips. He couldn’t help bit his own lip, looking at how they ruined you for the better. He loved the scene.

Chrollo dragged you away from Illumi. His face resting in the crook of your neck as Illumi’s hand grabbed your jiggling mounds, squeezing them and marveling at how they fit perfectly in his hands. You were made for them and only for them. Your body hasn’t known pleasure before, and you had clearly neglected yourself, you needed them as much as they craved you.

Hisoka came close to where you and Illumi met, his tongue coming out to lick his lips as his fingers came to rub on your hooded pearl, holding back the whine of pleasure. Everything was becoming too much. You convulsed a bit, the pleasure overwhelming you.

“She’s getting tighter,” Chrollo grunted, speeding his thrusts.

“Mmm, are you close, (Y/N)-Chan, hmm?” Hisoka got close to your face, his lips close to yours, teasing, “Are you going to cum on Illumi, like a good girl~? Milk them both for all they’re worth~?”

He kissed you, rubbing harder and faster, and you moaned into the kiss. He slipped his tongue in and sucked on yours, still tasting his arousal’s tanginess on you. That was the moment you became undone, your liquids squirting around Illumi. Both men thrust faster, almost competing with each other until Illumi came inside you, ropes of cum filling you up until he deemed it was enough.

Chrollo moaned lowly, biting your neck to muffle it as his cum shot into you, filling you on the other side.

Hisoka bit your lip and separated for air. Your eyes were almost closing, body shaking with the aftershocks of pleasure still rolling up and down your body. Chrollo pulled out, his cum dripping down the back of your thighs, making him lick his lips in satisfaction. Illumi pulled you abruptly towards him, making you land on his chest. Hisoka was surprised and annoyed that he couldn’t watch your tongue lolled out, and your lidded eyes look at him.

Illumi grab your face with both hands and brought you in for a passion-filled kiss. It was aggressive and possessive the way his lips pressed into yours until you both couldn’t breathe. He let you go, pulling out and laying you down on your side. Your body was tired, filled to the brim, marked, and pounded to their heart’s delight. Chrollo pulled a blanket over you as your eyes finally closed in exhaustion.

“Mmm, that was delightful. Our little fruit might not be as innocent as we thought~” Hisoka sat by you, caressing your cheek as you sleep.

“We should move her in the morning. She shouldn’t stay alone in the woods.” Illumi sat at the other side of the bed, calling out to the black fluff, making his way into the room.

“We shouldn’t forsake this place. It could be useful when we need a place to get away for some time” Chrollo put on his pants and dressed in his coat, leaving the shirt of out the equation as he leaned against the vanity.

“Mmm, vacations here with our darling pet should be divine~” Hisoka kissed you, making you snuggle cutely into your blanket. He warmly smiled at you. “Danchou, let’s keep her here. She doesn’t exist in the world, and our line of work is not the safest. She’s still hasn’t shown us her nen, but I’m afraid she’s not as developed as we are. She’s not ripe yet.”

“Hisoka is right. Bringing her with us will only endanger her. Illumi, can you persuade her to stay?”

Illumi sighed, going to his clothes and pulling out a single needle. He went to Hisoka’s side, his eyes looking down at you with warmth. He sat by your head, almost on Hisoka’s lap, the clown giving a suggestive buckle against Illumi’s back, making him annoyed.

Illumi caressed your face, pulling your locks away from your forehead.

“She won’t be able to leave the forest, without us or our consent. She’ll stay here as she has but will always expect us. The moment her mind thinks of leaving, she will have the most painful headache. The more she fights it, the worse it’ll get until she stops.”

Illumi then pulled you to face him. Your close eyes made you look so calm and sweet, and your puffy lips called out to him. He then pressed the tip of the nen infused needle to the middle of your forehead and pushed it in. You whimpered in your sleep, brows furrowing in pain and discomfort as the needle lodged inside your cranium. Then as quickly as the sting had come, it went away, leaving you blissfully unaware.

The three men then showered in your bathroom and slept all around you smothering with their heat until morning came. Arms clutching you possessively as if the minute they let go, you would fade away.

You woke up with a start. Heavily panting and looking around to see if you were alone. Maybe everything was a bad wet dream, and they hadn’t found you yet. Your first thought was to leave this place that you had constructed and built with sweat and tears. It pained you, but having them found you, was too much of a risk. So you turned, placing your feet on the floor and wincing at your lower region’s discomfort, in all the lower part of your body. You whimpered but made your way to the mirror on your vanity.

The sight almost made you scream.

Deep red and purple marks were littered all over your neck and chest. You brought your hand to cover your mouth as tears rolled down your cheeks. You looked down to see bite marks and bruises all over your stomach, hips, and thighs. You took your robe from the floor and put it on tightening the knot with shaky hands. You opened your bedroom door and quietly walked to the living room.

The embers of last night’s fire were still slightly lit; the windows were opened, letting in the fall breeze. But the place was empty, no well built handsome devils were in sight.

You sighed in relief. At least you were alone was once more, and they may never come back.

That’s when the front door opened, making you jump startled. You stayed in place watching as Hisoka came in carrying a hay woven basket with eggs, he took off his heels at the door placing them beside your shoes and looked up at your still form.

“Good morning, (Y/N)-Chan~” he brightly smiled at you, eyes closed in joy as he made his way to you. You didn’t move, baffled by what was going on. Hisoka placed a kiss on top of your head and went into the kitchen.

As soon as he left your space, Illumi came through the door, carrying your black cat in one arm and a bucket with water in his hand. He did the same as Hisoka putting his shoes beside his and the bucket near the kitchen. The black fluff jumped down his arms and trotted joyfully towards your legs, Illumi followed suit. He took your hand, kissing your forehead and bringing you into the kitchen. He pushed you gently to sit on the dining chair, and you winced a bit at the discomfort and slight pain.

Everything was tender.

“I’ll run you a warm bath,” his monotone voice and void swirling eyes gave you shivers, but his intentions were sweet. You nodded, still unsure of this picture, and he left you.

“I’ll make us some breakfast; you need to be strong if we want to have more fun~” Hisoka winked suggestively, and you hugged yourself unconsciously. “Now, now don’t be like that, darling.” he came closer with a spatula in hand, his big strong arms coming to cage you between the chair and him.

“I know you enjoyed it~” he gave you a peck on the lips and went back to cooking.

You looked at the door expecting Chrollo to join this weird play/reality show, but he didn’t come in. Curiosity got the better of you.

“Where’s...”

“Danchou? Hmm, he was busy and had to leave, but he left us to take care of you~”

“Is he...coming back?” You asked shyly, hating how you already missed the man or the fact that this domestic scene made you feel peaceful and right.

“Huh?” Hisoka looked at you, your shy demeanor let him know all you were thinking. He beamed with glee, you were already theirs. “He’ll be back tonight, maybe he’ll bring desserts~”

You hummed in response. Your eyes looked at the door, and a scheme came to mind. With Hisoka distracted and Illumi away, you could run. Run fast and not look back.

Your hands gripped the edge of the chair, and you almost took impulse to stand and go. Hisoka side-eyed you, his yellow eyes beaming with joy. You were such a fighter, he just wanted to ravish you now. The thought of you wanting to run made his pants tight.

“Do try it~” he said casually not even looking at you “I want to see how far you’ll get”

At that moment, Illumi came back, and you looked like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. He knew what you wanted to do, your intentions were clear in your eyes. It pained him a bit, but he knew you were acclimating still. He had to be patient.

You stood, and both men got ready. The tension could be cut with a knife. You looked at Illumi and went to him, seeming a bit defeated. He slightly let out a sigh in relief as he grabbed your hand and guided you into the hallway.

“Good girl,” Illumi said, pulling you inside the bathroom and closing the door behind him, snapping the lock to seal your fate.

[her0brine]

Here’s the final part to my little three piece fic about Steve and Alex meeting each other, I genuinely had a great time writing this down and thanks to the peeps who liked it as well!!!

As daylight breaks across the horizon, it makes it’s way into the large window that encompasses Alex’s new makeshift bedroom, the gentle warmth of the sun soon awakening Alex from their slumber. It took them some time to fall asleep from their tumultuous night, from their surreal first meeting with Steve and enduring the pain from drinking that potion to heal their relatively intense wounds. As they gently writhed in bed, their green eyes blearily look towards the newly crafted nightstand adjacent to their bed, spotting a bundle with a note pinned underneath it.

They push themselves up, now more fully awake as they tussle their hair back into its proper place as they grab the bundle and note with their other hand. Before opening up the bundle, they begin to read aloud the note, noticing however it seems to be pretty fresh as the charcoal writing on it has begun to rub off on their fingers.

“‘Good morning. By the time you wake up, I should be outside tending to my livestock. This is my daily routine, so don’t be scared if I’m not inside right now. The entrance to my farm is right in the kitchen, to the singular door in it. I also went ahead and washed and mended your clothes. Apologies in advance if you think this was a bit rude as I had to go into your room to get your clothes, and I swear I did not even look at you as I took them off the floor. I also made you a new sword. I made two of them just in case, one out of gold and another out of netherite. I wasn’t sure if you liked welding netherite items so I made a gold one to replace your own gold sword, since I couldn’t go back and get the pieces of your original gold sword. It was just too dangerous to go out again. I hope it’ll be at least a decent replacement before I can go back there later to pick the pieces up to rebuild your original one. Please let me know if you need anything else. Just shout at me outside for what you’d like for breakfast if you want, I’m willing to serve you for as long as you stay here.’................... Netherite?..... They had a pickaxe made out of that........”

Alex now looks down at the bundle in their lap, slowly nudging at its string. Netherite was quite the incredibly rare material, but Steve is making it sound like it was as common as iron. Alex gently pulls at the string, as the bundle suddenly spills out what Steve wrote about in the note. Alex’s once bloodied clothes were now perfectly clean and fully mended, alongside the two swords. Alex looks on in awe at the craftsmanship, as the two swords boldly gleamed in the morning sunlight.

Alex did like their own gold sword, but this new one essentially blew it out of water. It looked somewhat even more sturdy and there was intricate carvings within it’s handle, all cubic-like patterns merging together to wrap around the handle. The netherite sword was also equally stunning, as the odd sheen of the dark material made it look incredibly lustrous. Alex mumbles to themselves, wondering how Steve seemed to cram day’s worth of work into two swords, in just a few hours. Then again, this was the person who gave them a bedroom that was overflowing with different shulker boxes, each filled with rows of bundles that were each filled with a singular type of item, so Alex could only assume it was possibly a set of spares they had lying around.

They began to get out of bed, now putting on their clothes, and seemingly was shocked at how fresh they felt. Not even when they mended their outfit from damage during their own various explorations, it never really felt this smooth and comfortable. It felt like when they made their outfit on their own for the first time ages ago.

It really does seem like anything Steve touches has this surreally excellent degree of craftsmanship, and Alex definitely wanted to achieve such a skill set like that.

Alex soon opens up their room’s door to see the living room, which still was a marvelous sight to see, and even more so in the day. As they walk across it to the kitchen, they can already hear the gentle clucking of chickens emanating from the door there. As they make their way to it, they pass where they once sat in the kitchen table’s singular chair, noticing now the bloodstains they left behind on the floor were now gone, as if nothing occurred at all there.

As they crack open the door, the smell of fresh air and grass hits them, as the bleats of sheep and the soft mooing of cows soon follows. Alex smiles as they walk past the various pens, watching as the animals look towards them, some even being excited by their presence and walking up to the posts, wanted to be petted. They stop to pet a sheep a sheep that was dyed blue, as it gleefully bleats as Alex rubs their head. The whine of a horse suddenly catches their attention though, and Alex looks past the pens to spot a small stable, as a lone chestnut colored horse was attached to it. It looked directly at Alex, before whining again but strangely not in a aggravated way. Alex soon felt like every animal there was oddly gravitating towards them, as if they’ve never seen another person other than Steve and was begging for new attention.

Before Alex can continue to dwell on this, a small yelp rings out, as a flurry of bawks and chirps follows it. Alex whips their head around to see the cause of this commotion, to see Steve kneeling in a nearby pen full of chickens, as they all surround them, flapping feathers all around and some attempting to climb on top of them. In Steve’s hands are some freshly harvested eggs, which is probably the reason why these chickens suddenly got into such a fuss.

Alex giggles to themselves, seeing Steve be overwhelmed by such a relatively harmless swarm of poultry. Some feathers have gotten tangled up in their short brown hair, and various seeds were scattered across their pants, as they used them to try luring the chickens away from their eggs. Their giggles wanes though when Steve finally stands up from the pen’s floor, and notices Alex directly staring at them once again.

“hhgGhh!!......hhHhellloo!-oh! oh...........”

“Oh uh good morning to ya Steve! I see you were uh, kinda preoccupied there. I didn’t want to make more of a mess though so uh, I didn’t go inside there. Uhhhh.... Ah! Are those eggs for breakfast? Since I know you uh, said you can make me breakfast today. I can make it myself though!! You don’t have to cook for me, I’m feeling much better now!”

Steve eyebrows fly up, as they now gesture towards Alex that they’re fine with cooking breakfast, but it just comes out as a flurry of erratic hand waves.

“No no it’s okay Steve! You were kind enough to let me stay over and to even fix my clothes, and to add on top of that, you just gifted me TWO swords! Please, let me just do this for you, I don’t want to be more of a bother.”

“AHHH!!! N-NO PRO-PROBLLEEMM!!!” Steve suddenly shouted, before once again going into a coughing fit. Alex could only watch on once again as Steve struggles to catch their breath, but luckily they did not crush the eggs that were still in their grasp this whole time.

Still wheezing, they make their way out of the chicken pen and goes on a beeline towards the kitchen door, as Alex quickly runs behind them, still willing to cook for themselves. As the two of them go through the kitchen door, Steve once more waves towards Alex, but to make them sit down on the single chair in the room. Alex eventually agrees to this, but clearly looks a bit concerned when looking at Steve.

They seem to have deep grey circles underneath their indigo eyes, and even though they look like they bathed and put on a fresh set of clothes, Steve still looked on edge and exhausted. They proceed to go to a red shulker box, reaching into it and pulling out different cuts of raw meat, looking back at Alex to see their response.

“Oh. Uh..... d-do you have uh pork? Bacon and eggs is great, but if you don’t I would still eat anything you serve! Again I don’t want to make a fuss out of this!!”

Steve seems to physically wince at hearing that last part, as they quickly turn around and store the other cuts of meat that weren’t pork. They turn their smoker on, as they proceed to prepare the breakfast meal.

Alex sits alone at the table, now intrigued by the carvings on it’s sides. It seems similar to the same engravings on the swords they were given. As they look around the kitchen, it seems like this cubic motif is all around them, in both the wooden furniture and walls. Before they can ask Steve if they did all of this on their own, the sound of a plate clicking against a table snapped them back to reality. It was a large plate absolutely filled to the brim with large cuts of bacon, along side four cooked eggs that were begging to be cut into.

As Alex says thank you, Steve shyly turns around to get the utensils, alongside a cup of milk to go along with the meal. They place those next to the plate, as Alex proceeds to dig in. While they chow down on the plate, Steve begins to walk towards the door again, before Alex stops them dead in their tracks.

“Wait, why are you leaving? Come on, stay here! See if you can build a new chair real quick, I want to chat with you! Well, you kinda know what I mean by ‘chat’, like I’ll just uh, ask you some yes and no kinda questions to pass the time. Will ya?”

Alex smiles towards Steve, as they slowly walk back towards the table, arms deep in their pockets as they proceed to pull out some wood blocks to quickly assemble a chair. As they sit down, Steve keeps their eyes glued to the floor, murmuring to themselves as Alex begins to send a barrage of questions towards them.

“Do you live alone? This house is like, absolutely MASSIVE, and yet I kind of feel like you only live here?”

“....... y...yea........”

“Okay, how about pets then? Do you have any at all? I have a tamed wolf back at my home, along with some tropical fish! I know those don’t really do anything, but I think they’re pretty to look at!”

Steve seems to recede deeply in their chair at hearing the pet question, before slowly shaking their head side to side.

“Ah. Well. Damn. Well do you have livestock, and a lot of it! They’re kinda pets I guess, and they’re so cute!! Maybe try telling me about them?”

Steve seems to be more interested in this question, as they straighten themselves up on the chair, and begins to write on a spare note they had.

By the time the duo finished ‘chatting’, it was way past noon and Alex’s plate was wiped clean, and there was a large pile of notes in the middle of the table. Both Alex and Steve were giggling like mad, delirious from learning and laughing at each other’s experiences and various misadventures. Steve also seemed to finally soften up fully towards Alex as well, as their on-edge and morose appearance soon melted away, to reveal that they’re actually quite gleeful. They still had those grey circles though, and soon asked Alex if it was okay for them to leave and rest up, as they genuinely did not sleep at all during the night.

Essentially owing so much to Steve right now, they of course said yes, as it was the least they could do for them. As Steve proceeds to leaves the kitchen, Alex stands up as well to go wash their plate and utensils in the sink. As they wash off the grease on them, they could hear a loud thud, followed by some guttural sound.

Alex soon rushes out of the kitchen, fearing that something bad might have suddenly happened to Steve, before immediately seeing them lying face flat on a nearby couch, snoring loudly. Alex could only assume that Steve was really fatigued from one lost night of sleep, and walked around the sofa to sit in a cushioned chair near to it. As they stare up towards the glass ceiling, they begin to reflect on their surreal luck with stumbling across a seemingly perfect benignant human being. They have lived on their own as well for some time, traveling from village to village and rarely stayed at one place for too long. They’ve barely stayed at their original home for some time, and hasn’t checked up on their tamed wolf either, just relying on their villager neighbor to look after their pet.

Perhaps, they should stay a bit longer, to see if they can pick up some skills from Steve such as how they managed to amass such a large amount of raw material and finalized goods on their own, and why their craftsmanship is so incredibly good. As they think about this to themselves, Steve is in a deep state of sleep, wondering if they should tell Alex to stay over for some more time as well........ they don’t want them to see them leave so soon..........

[sweetdreamstrilogy]

Chapter 1

Once Upon a Time

…there was a stupid boy and his stupid name was Derrick. That’s me.  

I guess it all started when I first laid eyes on her, but it wouldn’t make sense to tell you that yet. We have to go back and talk about Chicago first. 

I had just turned seventeen and my junior year of high school was coming to a slow and restless end. It was nearly summer when fate intervened, on the best and worst day of my life. 

Angela was the catalyst - Angela who’d been my first everything. Angela who smoked and drank and partied, went home, got thrown around by her dad and then did it all over again. Angela who was always trying to destroy herself. Angela who was always trying to destroy me.

She called me at three in the morning that night, sobbing into the phone while a party raged in the background. “Something bad happened.” 

I was already out of bed and pulling on my jeans. “Where are you? What happened?” 

She didn’t answer. 

“Angela! What the hell is going on?” 

“It’s Dan,” She cried, but it almost sounded like laughter. I should’ve known then but all I could think was who's Dan? Where could she be? Who the fuck is having a party tonight? “He took advantage of me, I swear I didn’t do anything, I swear...” 

“What did he do?” It felt like an arrow thrummed through the air, straight into my chest. I knew this was gonna happen one of these nights, hanging out with these fucking people I didn't know, getting so drunk she couldn't see straight...

"I don't know..." She sobbed. In the living room, I tip-toed in the dark, searching the kitchen counter for my mom’s car keys. 

“It’s okay. I’m coming to get you, I’m on my way.” 

“No!” She yelped into the phone. I went still at the sound. “Don’t come, Sarah is taking me home.” 

“Dammit, Angela, tell me where you are.” 

But she’d already hung up. 

I stared at the dark screen of my phone for a minute, wanting to slam it onto the counter and break the damn thing to pieces. She was always doing this to me, calling with a crisis that kept me up all night, one way or another - worrying about her or coming to the rescue. I almost got in the car and drove to her house but...the last time I showed up while her dad was home she came to school the next day with a brand new shiner. I couldn't go there, risk him taking it out on her again. No, I'd have to wait to see her until school - if she even showed up - and that was still hours off. 

I thought about trying to go back to sleep but I knew I'd just lay there, wondering what happened, how bad it was. So, like many sleepless nights before, I climbed up to the roof of the trailer and waited for the sky to lighten. I tried calling her back, once, twice, smoked three cigarettes in a row waiting to see if she'd call back but she never did. Soon the golden rays of sunrise put the color back in the world, illuminating the trailer park in which I lived, the neighbor's overflowing trash, Cliff's rusty truck parked in the dirt, my mom's ancient looking Geo Metro next to it. Another damn day, I thought, looking at it all. 

Below me I heard them waking up and knew it was time to go. As I slid down off the roof, I realized my mom's keys were still in my back pocket and rushed to get back to the kitchen before- 

"Where you goin' so early?" There was Cliff in his yellowed wife-beater, bottom lip already puckered with chew. I grimaced at the sight of him. 

"Nowhere." 

He spat into an empty cup on the counter. "Not to save that little bitch again." 

"Cliff-" My mom had appeared behind him, her blonde hair a mess, grey robe hanging loose around her. Seemed like she was wasting away right before my eyes. 

"What? What else do I call her?" Cliff laughed, showing his blackened teeth. 

"Shut your fucking mouth." I pushed past him, heading for my room. 

"What'd you say?" 

He tried to grab my arm, pull me back around but I shrugged him off hard - hard enough that he had to take a step back not to lose his balance. "I said shut your fucking mouth." 

"Derrick-" My mom's voice matched her nightgown, faded and stretched thin, and that took all the fight out of me. I went for my room before he could say anything else, but not before catching her   exchange a nervous glance with his furious one.

Dammit, all I wanted to do was make a run for it, get to school early and catch Angela before homeroom but I couldn't leave them alone, not like this. No doubt she'd have new bruises by the time I got home from school, always "slipping" in those non-slip shoes of hers. No, I wasn't going anywhere until one of them left for work, so I just sat on my bed with the door cracked and tried not to listen. Course that's kinda hard when the walls are thinner than a sheet of paper. 

"Ungrateful little shit." I could even hear him spitting into his spit cup between clattering from the kitchen, where my mom was no doubt busying herself doing the dishes, making him a breakfast he didn't deserve. "Who the hell does he think he is? Talking to me like that, I'll give him a taste of his own fucking medicine..." 

I wished he would try but he knew better than that -  three years of hell and the only time my mom ever came close to leaving him was when he gave me those stitches. I traced the path of the scar across my eyebrow, a familiar habit now, a gesture that would always bring to mind the taste of blood and failure. I was the only one who remembered how easily she took him back. 

So yeah, the truth was it probably wouldn't matter if he beat me to death with his bare hands, she wasn't going anywhere. But he didn't know that and he wasn't gonna risk losing his caretaker, his punching bag. All I could do was keep hoping he'd go out like my dad did, crash into a tree some foggy night after too many drinks. Poof, gone from our lives forever. Maybe then we could go back to the way things were...she was happy once wasn't she? I tried to remember back before the relapses, before Cliff, before any of it but all I could find were the things I had to bury. 

"Breakfast is ready!" Her voice brought me back. 

"Not hungry!" I yelled back, even though my stomach felt empty. I couldn't stand the thought of sitting at the table together like some fucked up little family. Through the wall, Cliff was still complaining; 

"What is this crap, Marla? Burnt shit, your cooking's worthless as you are-" This brought me to my feet. Something crashed. 

Out in the living room he'd swept his plate off the table like a toddler throwing a tantrum and she was on hands and knees, picking up bacon and bits of egg from molding linoleum. I wanted to lunge across the table, bloody my knuckles until this feeling left me but one look at her reminded me every blow would hit her just as hard. I went to my knees instead, picking up the mess. 

"It's okay, Derrick, I got it. You get off to school now." She said, not meeting my eyes but I could see her hands were shaking. 

"Yeah, shouldn't you get walking?" Cliff sneered, looking down at us from his throne at the kitchen table. It took all I had not to yank him out of his chair.

"Can I get a ride?" I said to my mom, helping her to her feet. Cliff's grin fell. 

"Sure, honey. Just gimme a minute, gotta get dressed." 

She set the broken plate down on the counter and disappeared into the back bedroom, leaving Cliff and I alone, a rare occasion. He was watching me, I turned to face him. 

"You think you're something tough." He said with a chuckle, stuffing more snuff into his cheek. 

"I could kill you." God knows I'd thought of a hundred ways to do it but she'd just find someone else.  

"Huh, like to see you try." He spat into his cup and wiped the black drool off his chin with the back of a hand. 

"Maybe one of these days you will." I swallowed down wave after wave of rage, knowing that's what he wanted - an outburst, a reason to turn my mom against me, separate us more than he and the alcohol already had. And I couldn't let that happen, the thread was thin enough already, one more hard tug and it was gonna break for good. 

"You really think you can save her?" He said and I wasn't sure if he meant Angela or my mom. I ground my teeth together so I wouldn't take the bait. "You can't save nobody." 

The punch to the gut was that he was right. He knew it and I knew it. There was nothing I could do, there never had been, she was lost to me from day one and I was stuck in an endless loop, watching her kill herself slowly, slowly in any way she could, leaving me to do the same because I didn't know any other way. 

"You ready to go?" My mom emerged in her pin-striped dress and not-so-white apron, stained from two years running around in the same grease trap. 

"Yeah, one sec." I grabbed my backpack from my room and when I came back she was kissing him on the head like nothing happened and he was grabbing her waist with dirt under his nails and fingers blackened in every crevice and crease, stained in years of dirt and oil and grease. These were the subtle things that broke my back. The screen door shook as it slammed shut behind me. 

But outside wasn't much better, I could still hear every word. 

"-trying to break the damn door. I should kick his ass out, he can live on the street-" 

I almost started for the train-tracks, a familiar walk through tangled woods. I could always lose myself there, playing chicken with the train, walking for miles, knowing I was lost but also knowing that the tracks would lead me home. Problem was I never wanted to go home, if was up to me I would've spent every night lying in a field with only the stars and the crickets. It was peaceful there, nothing could go wrong. But before long I'd start to wonder what was happening at home, knowing every minute I wasn't there was another chance to lose it all. 

The screen door whined as it opened - too late to make a run for it - and my mom emerged a second later, looking stamped out like the butt of a cigarette. She didn't meet my eyes as she unlocked her car door and then leaned over to unlock my side. She turned the key, once, twice, trying to get the engine to start. On the third try it groaned to life and we started down the dirt road that would lead us out of here, if only we could just keep driving. 

We sat in silence but my head was busy thinking of a thousand things I could say to her. Problem was I'd said them all before and it never changed a damn thing, so I just kept my mouth shut for once, saving up my breath to waste on Angela later. 

"You working tonight?" My mom filled the tense silence as we turned out onto the main road, content to pretend like nothing happened as usual. 

 "Yeah, at five."  

"Well, I could see if anybody wants to give away a shift. Do a double, keep you company?" She said hopefully, her way of making up for this morning without saying a word about it. I wanted to tell her she should just go home and relax for once,  but the only way to make a Friday night shift longer would be standing there scrubbing dishes, wondering if tonight was the night Cliff lost his shit again, if tonight was the night she relapsed again. At least at work I could keep an eye on her. 

"Yeah, that'd be cool." 

She gave a faint smile. 

"Here." I slid a depressingly thin wad of cash out of my wallet and held it out to her. I'd been bussing tables after school almost a year and the money never got better, but at least it was something.

"Derrick, you keep it, it's your money. You worked hard for it." 

"I don't want it." I kept enough for cigarettes but the rest went to her, no matter how many times she tried to refuse it. I just hoped it was helping somehow and not contributing to Cliff's beer fund. "It's for you, for bills or whatever. The air conditioner. Tires." 

She sighed, tucking the bills into her apron. "Thank you." 

"I just wish I had more to give you." 

She squeezed my hand but still couldn't look at me. "I know the feeling." She put her hand back on the steering wheel and went quiet for a long moment, then said softly, "Sorry about this morning." 

I turned away from the window to look at her. She finally cast me a sorry glance and I almost let it go...but dammit, there had to be some combination of words that would convince her and I was never going to quit trying to find them. 

"It's not your fault, mom." Reasoning, the first stage. "It's him, he's the asshole, why can't you see that?" 

"He doesn't mean it." Her lips dug little graves at the edges of her mouth. "He's tired, he goes through a lot at work, you don't see that." 

There were a thousand cuts in every word she used to defend him. I sank into my seat. 

"He's a piece of shit." Anger.

"Derrick-" She sighed, lips settling into a thin stubborn line. “He agreed to go to counseling with me. At the church.” 

“Again? Yeah cause that worked so well the last time.” 

"Things are different now." 

“Since when?” More anger. “Since he dropped out of rehab? He still drinks every day. It's not good for you to be around that." 

"It doesn't bother me-" 

"Mom, he hit you, he made you relapse, he-" 

"That was my fault-" 

"No, it wasn't. Stop telling yourself that." She just stared out the windshield. Could she even hear me? I was already to begging. "Mom, I know you get lonely but you don't need him. We can leave, move back to the city-" 

She just shook her head no, like it was a sad fact of life, an immutable truth. "Someday you'll understand." 

"No. I won't." Depression. 

"When you're in love." 

I folded my arms over my chest, thinking about Angela. "Maybe I am." 

"You wouldn't say maybe." 

I shook my head, finally at the last stage - giving up - and punched the radio on. She kept on driving like nothing happened. I stared out the window as a train passed in the opposite direction and wished I was on the tracks. Soon McKinley High was looming on the horizon. She stopped the car in front of the main entrance and looked over at me, her mouth twisted up in resolute, weary sadness.

“Have a good day at school.” She said. I wanted to say something, to ease the tension between us, lighten the look on her face but I just nodded and got out of the car.  

The usual morning chaos dragged me through crowded halls, thrashing with a thousand sounds, voices, faces I didn't know that didn't know me but regarded me with eyes hostile or wanting or empty. I found Angela by her locker, looking hungover and despondent. She frowned when she saw me. 

"Ang, what the hell happened last night? Are you okay?" She just slammed her locker door shut and started down the hall, saying;

"It's nothing, sorry I even called." 

"What the fuck does that mean?" I wove through the chaos, trying to keep up with her. "Hey," I grabbed her hand and pulled her off to the side. "What happened? Tell me." 

She just shrugged, shaking her head. "I don't remember." 

"You said some guy Dan took advantage of you. Who the fuck is Dan?" 

She rolled her eyes. "Just this guy on the football team."

 "What did he do? I swear to God-" 

"Nothing." 

"Then why-" 

"I don't know, I was trashed."

"So nothing happened?" 

"I mean, we hooked up I guess-" 

"And you said no, you didn't want to?" 

"Of course!" She swatted my shoulder. "I'm with you, idiot. Look, I just wanna forget it-"  

"Fuck that, he's not just gonna get away with it." 

"Seriously, just let it go." The bell rang and she tugged on my hand. "Come on." 

My chance came at lunch. The football players were always hanging around under the bleachers smoking and that’s where I found him. 

There were three of them, passing around a cigarette. Anyone else would’ve walked away, waited until he was alone to start something. Not me. Not stupid Derrick. They didn’t even look up when I approached them.

’“Dan?” I said, looking between the three of them, hoping one of them would give me a clue. A stocky guy in the middle looked up, taking a drag of his cigarette. 

“Yeah.” He regarded me with lazy eyes and didn't have a chance to dodge when my fist collided with his face. His neck jerked back and with a crack blood began to gush from his nose. Then his friends were on me.  

Before long I was lying on my back in the damp grass, blood in my mouth, watching a cloud float by in an otherwise empty blue sky. My chest felt too heavy, I couldn’t take a breath or hear anything but ringing in my ears where one of them had socked me.  

I couldn't see them anymore so thought they might’ve left. No such luck. Two of them pulled me up and my knees flapped beneath me, useless. Dan came into blurry view. He was licking at his split lip, which made me grin, showing a mouthful of blood. 

“You piece of shit.” Dan wiped his face with the back of his hand. His knuckles came away bloody. “Angela is a fucking slut, you can have her.” 

“Fuck you,” I spat, lunging but the jackets held me back. “She told me everything, you asshole, she was drunk.” 

“Yeah, she was.” Dan smirked, “But I can promise you one thing,” He stepped closer to me, so close I could feel his breath on my face. “She wanted it.” 

His fist barreled into my gut, my knees gave out and struck the ground. The two jackets released me suddenly and I went face-first into the grass. A boot struck out and connected with my ribs - something cracked, I lost my breath. 

“Tell her thanks for a great night.” I flinched as warm spit ran down my cheek and watched their shoes stomp away in the grass. 

They didn’t get very far though. A fourth set of shoes had joined them on the horizon and these shoes were recognizably polished - the principal. Shit, what the hell was he doing out here? I pushed myself up to my knees and spat blood into the grass. 

“Help him up!” Principal Khol was saying to the jackets, who were looking sheepish now. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I growled, bringing myself to my feet at last. The world tilted precariously for a long moment and then fell into back place. 

“He started it!” Dan whined. “Look, I'm bleeding!” Principal Khol ignored him, surveying me with a disappointed frown. 

“Yeah, so is he. Do you need to see the nurse?” Principal Khol asked me. I shook my head, spitting more blood into the grass, where it congealed like some kind of macabre morning dew. “Good. You three, I’ll deal with you shortly. Derrick, in my office.” Dan and I exchanged a glare. “NOW.” 

I followed Principal Khol across the football field, where girls paused from their lunches to watch me, through the halls, where kids peered at me from behind their lockers, and into his office, where the receptionist shook her head at the sight of me. 

I collapsed into Principal Khol’s office chair, which I’d been in so many times it seemed molded to fit me. He sat across from me, shifting papers from one side of the desk to another so he had a place to fold his hands. 

“Derrick.” Principal Khol shook his head, looking disappointed. I didn’t see why, I wasn’t his kid. Sometimes I was his problem but definitely not his responsibility. If he wanted me to feel bad for bloodying the face of the guy who hurt Angela, then  he was going to be very disappointed. I only felt relief and a satisfaction that ran as deep as my bones. “There’s nothing I can do for you now but I need to know why.” 

“What are you even talking about?” I said, shaking my head. Things were swimming, I wondered if I had a concussion. One ear was still ringing. 

“I’m responsible for the kids here, you understand that much at least, right?” I had to stop from rolling my eyes. Now he was gonna be a condescending asshole, on top of everything else. “If I can figure out why you squandered all your potential for cigarettes and partying and fighting then maybe I can stop someone else from doing it.” 

“I didn’t squander shit.” I needed to spit blood again, it was welling up between my teeth. 

“You did and you are. Your scores when you transferred here, they were enough to get you into a four year college easily. You could’ve gone Ivy League if you’d tried.” Principal Khol shook his head. “Not anymore.” 

“Not this again.” I shook my head, swallowing blood. 

“No, not again. There’s nothing I can do to help you anymore Derrick.” He took a deep breath and looked at me. “You’re expelled.” 

For a minute I didn’t fully understand him. The words made it to my ears but not to my brain. 

“Expelled.” I repeated. 

“Yes. Kicked out, expelled.” 

“Can you do that?” 

“Yes. And I have to. This is your third strike and we have a no violence policy. I’ve told you that again and again.” 

“Hear me out! Dan took advantage of a girl, my girlfriend at a party while she was drunk! Is he going to be expelled too?”

“Dan is a separate matter that is none of your business. I assure you all of this will be investigated and dealt with. If you focused on your own business for once then maybe this wouldn’t be happening.” 

“Well…what the fuck.” 

“Language.” 

“Sorry. Fuck. Sorry. Do I have to go to another school?” 

“That will be up to you and your family.”

“Just my mom.” 

“Yes, you and your mother.” 

“Can I go home then?”

“Your mother is on her way to pick you up, Trudy called her already.” 

“Jesus is she on speed dial or something? I can just walk.” 

“She has to sign a few things before we can let you leave.” 

“I’ll bring the forms to her, I need to get out of here.” 

“Just sit Derrick, there’s something else you and I and your mother need to discuss.” 

“Fine, but can I go to the bathroom at least?” 

Principal Khol rolled his eyes, threw up his hands, given up. “Go for it.”

I stumbled out of the room and across the hall, into the nearest boy’s bathroom, which was blessedly empty.  I locked myself in the farthest stall, closest to the window and sat on the toilet. 

“Fuck.” I whispered to myself. What the fuck was going on? Expelled? I couldn’t think straight. My ears were still ringing and my head ached and my skin felt tight from nicotine deprivation. I pulled a squashed pack of cigarettes from my back pocket and withdrew the lucky, the only one that hadn't split. My hands shook as I flicked the lighter but the first inhale made me go still. 

Breathe. I inhaled again, exhaling in the direction of the cracked bathroom window. Breathe. It wasn’t so bad. I didn’t like school anyway, wasn’t any good at it no matter what Principal Khol seemed to think. Those scores were from years ago anyway - before weed and alcohol and one or two minor concussions. It wasn’t so bad. At least I would still have Angela, I wouldn’t see her at school as much but I hardly did anyway except during lunch. Maybe I could drop out all together, get a job and save up enough to get us a place in the city when she graduated, get her away from her dad, get me away from Cliff…

I made it halfway through my cigarette before the bathroom door squealed opened, followed by the patter of shoes which disappeared into a stall. I took one last drag of my cigarette and flushed the rest. Time was up. 

 Outside the stall a dirty mirror greeted me - I cautiously raised my eyes to look at myself. Well, I was still bloody and the bruises were starting to rise already, colorful little continents pushing their way up through my skin. I ran the tap and splashed it over my face, rinsed my mouth out, staining the sink in pink. I didn’t look much better but that was the best I could do. 

The halls were still empty. I started back toward the office but didn’t quite make it before I heard my name. 

“Derrick!” My mother called, her work shoes squealing on the linoleum as she broke into a jog toward me. I took two long steps forward and then she’d reached me and was holding my face, examining the bruises and shaking her head. “God, Derrick.” She’d come straight from shift at the diner - her eyes were all bloodshot and she smelled like sweat and grease. She started to choke up, looking at me.

“Mom, it’s ok, it doesn’t even hurt.” I lied, trying to crack a grin, hoping there wasn’t blood in my teeth anymore. She shook her head, exhaling loudly. 

“What happened?” The look on her face, her lips sewn together in a grim line, her eyes tearing, frustrated, made me go quiet. “You knew they weren’t gonna give you another chance!” She stamped a foot. “Dammit.” She rubbed her eyes. 

“I…I didn’t think, I-” It was true. The consequences of going after Dan had never crossed my mind. All I could think of was Angela crying into the phone, all I could imagine was what he might’ve done to her. The rest was simple. 

“Ah, there you are.” Principal Khol’s voice came from behind me. “Hello, Ms. Woods.” He said, nodding toward my mother. “Let’s take a seat in my office.” 

Both my mother and I followed him sheepishly, the screw-up kid and the screw-up mom bracing for a lecture. Principal Khol pulled out a chair for her. She sat, crossing her legs at the ankle, where a tear in her panty-hose was widening. There was silence for a long moment as everyone settled in. Principal Khol folded his hands on top of his desk, his eyes going between the two of us. He cleared his throat. 

“I’m sorry to bring you all the way down here, Marla.” Principal Khol said. “But if we’re going to go through with this, we need to act now.” 

“Is there still a possibility he could get in?” My mom asked him. I looked between the two of them - what the fuck were they talking about? 

“What are you talking about?” I directed this toward my mother, but she just stared pointedly at Principal Khol, who went on,

“There is. I’ve prepared all the paperwork but we need signatures,” He pulled a drawer open and thumbed through the files. “And we need to fax it off to them as quickly as possible, their deadline for the fall semester is rapidly approaching.” He produced a stack of papers and leafed through them, ignoring me completely. 

“What is all that? What’s going on?” 

No one answered. My mom was biting her lip. She and Principal Khol exchanged a look. 

“Listen, Derrick.” She leaned forward. “I…we…Mr. Khol and I discussed what might happen if you were to be expelled and we set up a…” 

“A contingency plan.” Principal Khol finished for her. “There is a very elite preparatory school in Kent, England and we may have found a way for you to spend your Senior year there.” 

My ears were ringing. Kent? England?

“What?” That was all I could manage.

“They have a special program…” My mom was trying to explain but she couldn’t seem to finish. The look of betrayal on my face silenced her. Principal Khol stepped in. 

“Yes, a special acceptance program designed to help you and other kids like you fulfill your potential. You meet all the requirements and I’ll be sending along a copy of your test scores, there’s no reason to think you won’t be accepted, although we will have to wait for an official response.” 

“You’re shipping me away?” I didn’t blink, didn’t take my eyes off her. “I bet Cliff is gonna love this,” A laugh started in my throat but got caught halfway up.

“No, Derrick,” The desperation in her voice sliced through me. “This is a chance for you to…” She was starting to cry, I could feel tears burning behind my eyes too. 

“Your mother is trying to do what’s best for you, this academy is a rare opportunity-” Principal Khol said sternly. 

“You went behind my back, you just assumed I’d fuck up again…” 

My face was hot. Of course I’d fucked up again, proved her right. A tear was catching the afternoon light on her cheek. I wanted to hate her - for being with Cliff, for moving me here, for this - but I just felt empty and stretched thin, a balloon ready to pop. 

“We wanted to make sure there was a way you could graduate, even if it can’t be here,” 

“Fuck graduating, I don’t care about that, I’m not leaving…”

“Just look at this,” Principal Khol sifted through his paperwork. He passed a shiny, folded brochure to me. I stared at it but didn’t pick it up. “You’d have excellent teachers and peers of your own caliber, the rooms are spacious and there’s plenty of extracurricular activities to keep you busy, they have every club you can imagine and…” 

All the sound in the room faded into the ringing in my ears. His mouth was moving but I couldn’t hear. He was unfolding the brochure and pointing at pictures of shiny, smiling teenagers in their pressed uniforms. England? I’d never left Chicago. It seemed impossibly far, out of the reach of my imagination, another world, another dimension. 

“-to a lot of trouble to arrange this for you.” Principal Khol was saying. “If you did well, there’s a chance you could be accepted into a good college.” He could see that I wasn’t listening. He sat up straighter and gave an exasperated sigh. “At the very least, consider it.” He slid the brochure further across the desk. He and my mother exchanged a long look and then their eyes settled on me, waiting for an answer. 

My mouth wouldn’t open. All I could see was Cliff’s smiling face when he finally got rid of me. Was that the real reason she’d done this to me? To make Cliff happy? The thought made my stomach turn so violently I actually tasted bile at the back of my throat. She was staring at me, her eyebrows knitted together in concern, as if she cared.

“I need air…” I stood before either of them could respond. 

“Derrick…” My mom called but the door was already swinging shut. Trudy glanced up at me with contempt as I fled the office. 

I didn’t make it far before the next lunch bell rang and suddenly the halls were flooded. Those nearest to me eyed my fresh bruises and glared as I pushed through the throng toward the exit. I needed a cigarette, and then another and another and another.

Outside the sun was clearing the sky of clouds and baking the skin of so many adolescent shoulders. The bleachers had already filled and that’s where I saw Angela. She was laughing with two other girls I sort of recognized. She looked so happy - the sun soaking into her pale skin, her laugh carried to me by the wind. 

I wanted to tell her what happened, what they wanted to do with me but somehow my feet wouldn’t move. They wouldn’t ruin her day with bruises and blood and ultimatums, like I wanted to. But it was too late, one of her friends caught sight of me and said something to Angela, who pushed her bleached hair from her shoulder and turned in my direction. I waved a hand sheepishly and she smiled, sending waves of warmth over me just to see something familiar and good. She nodded toward the space beneath the bleachers and we both started in that direction. 

“What the hell happened to you?” She asked, coming around the corner. I just shook my head, not even sure I wanted to explain. “You look like shit.” She was wiggled two cigarettes from her pack and handed one to me.

“Thanks…” I lit it and sucked in, my lungs hungry for the smoke. She watched me, smoking her own cigarette, waiting for me to talk. She shuffled her feet in the dirt, I said; “I’m getting expelled.” 

At first there was no reaction from her, except she narrowed her eyes and examined my bruised face. It must’ve dawned on her - the reason why - because her eyes widened and she stepped back, shaking her head. 

“Shit.” And then she started to laugh. It was a laugh that couldn’t be stifled, though she tried. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She was saying, still laughing. I could only stare. I didn’t know what to think anymore, my mom was shipping me off to another fucking country and Angela, the only person I could say I was remotely close to, was laughing about it. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t think…” She inhaled on her cigarette, trying not to smile. “I didn’t think you’d really go after him.” 

“What are you talking about?” I couldn’t hold it in anymore, my voice rose. “Of course I went after him! He took advantage of you, I’m not just gonna let that happen!” She was staring at me, her eyebrows raised, a look of comic disbelief on her face. “He raped you!” 

“Derrick…” Angela shook her head, her blonde hair falling into her eyes. “No, he didn’t.” She said this like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You called me at three in the fucking morning last night-” 

“I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” 

“God, Derrick you really are an idiot…” She waited for me to understand, but still, I didn’t. “He didn’t rape me! For god’s sake, we had sex and I didn’t know how to tell you so I made that shit up but I didn’t think you’d go and get your ass kicked…” 

There was a long moment of stillness for me. I’m not sure how it felt to Angela, but to me time stretched and twisted like putty. A hundred possible reactions and paths opened up to me - I could run away or lose my mind or wrap my hands around her neck.

Then her lips lifted in a grin and the facade dropped, a curtain falling. Whoosh. I saw her how she must’ve seen herself - pale, skinny, make-up smearing, her natural dark hair eating up the bleach she’d smothered it with. A liar, a fuck-up, a worthless piece of shit. I’d always believed there was something more than that, something that she hid beneath sarcasm and bitterness. But now I knew there wasn’t. 

I dropped the cigarette under my shoe and crushed it. Angela was still staring with her lopsided grin.

“Derrick, come on.” She said, laughing. 

 I turned and started back across the field toward the school and that was the last time I saw her. 

Distantly I could feel my ribs aching, my face throbbing, my ears ringing, my stomach twisting. I could feel the chasm opening inside my chest, waiting for me to be alone so it could tug me in over the edge and into darkness. But this was all far away - inside me there was a still place, numb to the pain. 

Back in Principal Khol’s office they were chatting, having a polite conversation. My mom looked up when I entered, her face hopeful and sorry. I couldn’t look at her. 

“I’ll go.” I said, to Principal Khol. He nodded and motioned for me to sit. 

The next half hour was an excruciatingly slow blur of signatures and details. 

“We’ll know if you’ve been accepted by mid-June.” I nodded, over and over, hardly hearing him. “You’ll need to have your choice of classes in by the end of July, and make sure you choose from the requirements or they could kick it back.” The adrenaline or stillness or whatever was wearing off. I wanted to throw up or throw myself off a roof. I kept seeing Angela grinning behind my eyes, Cliff grinning. They’d gotten rid of me, they’d done me in.

“Extracurriculars aren’t required but I highly recommend you sign up with your other classes, they fill quickly.” The pain was starting to make everything blur at the edges. “Here is a list of recommended items to bring for your dorm room.”

At last, after signing and reviewing and faxing, Principal Khol stood and organized the papers into a folder. He looked down at me really sadly, like I was his kid again. “I wish you the best, Derrick.” He said. 

The folder found its way into my numb fingers. “Thanks.” I was too exhausted to really mean it. 

My mom and I walked silently through the halls, the only sound was her work shoes squealing on the floors. Everyone was in class and this was the last time I was going to walk through these halls. I didn’t care - I hadn’t made made a single real friend in my two years at McKinley. There were people that knew my name, people that waved to me in the halls, girls that wanted to hook up, guys that wanted to fight me or be me, there were people I bummed cigarettes from and people I felt bad for. But I didn’t know anyone, and no one knew me. 

In the parking lot, my mom’s car looked sad and rusty in the afternoon light. I wanted to walk home, be alone with my thoughts, maybe lie down on the train tracks but I was too tired to argue with her about it. 

The inside of the car was burning up. There were cigarette butts stinking in the ash tray. We both sat and waited as she cranked the engine again and again, wondering if this was the last insult of the day, until at last it came to life. We rumbled out of the gated parking lot in silence and out onto the street. 

“Derrick…” My mom started. 

“Don’t.” I said. I pushed the button for the radio and a crooning voice filled the car. The corners of her lips trembled and I felt a pang of guilt, but I couldn’t open my mouth. All my words, everything was being sucked into the black hole in my gut. So began the longest summer of my life.

Tag List: @danielleslayer​ @writeblrconnections @thewriteblrarchives​

[havecats-willtravel]

a blue dot in a red state: austin, texas.

“are you doing anything fun this weekend?” everyone asked. “i have no plans, except i’ll be in austin.” “you’ll love it! go here... and here... and here.”

this was the conversation over-and-over as i started planning for my weekend getaway in this part of liberal texas. after four jam-packed days in austin, it’s everything they said it would be, and exactly what i wanted it to be. 

it’s one of the youngest cities i’ve been in, but the lularoe leggings were few and far between (thankfully!). austin brings to the table the booming tech industry and has a river that runs through it (win-win in my book). and no matter where you are in this town, they’ll be a bar and a dog. 

what i am glad i packed: comfortable shoes! austin is an active city (ok even if that means the activity is going to a bar) so you’ll definitely want to bring some footwear with support, like classic converses or trendy tom’s.

what i am sad i left at home: sunscreen and a raincoat! in a city where you are doing a bunch of on-your-feet exploring, the weather is going to dictate quite a bit of your plans. one day the severe thunderstorms made for a lazy morning, yet magically later that afternoon it was so sunny that my skin quickly turned pink. be flexible, but be prepared.

our recommendations:

we stayed at the uber luxurious jw marriott in downtown; a truly stunning hotel with gorgeous views of the city and the river. if i could have found a way to take that shower home with me, i would have. for a convenient, yet yummy, bite to eat, grab a seven-layer salad (romaine, adobo chicken, roasted tomatoes, corn, black beans, avocado, cheddar, smoked pepper ranch, $15 and on the late night menu too!) and a 10 span chardonnay from the central coast on the patio of the corner restaurant. 

staying on the food and drink train, second bar + kitchen just across from the jw marriott is an ideal place for rose with girlfriends or an after work beer to decompress. the swanky, modern interior still provides the cozy vibe, while the outside patio is breezy and refreshing, and always my recommendation. the avocado fundido (asadero, house chorizo, chipotle corn chips, $12) is a must!

after work, meet up with your friends on the rooftop of handlebar. this old school vibe hangout is guaranteed to be overflowing with young adults drinking fancy beers out of tall boy cans. but they have happy hour deals so cans up!

post work drinks or pre-game of late night, swing into irene’s cafe for tasty sandwiches in a diner-like atmosphere. we recommend the smoked turkey sandwich (bacon, havarti, bibb lettuce, poblano aioli on toasted white bread, $12) and the pulled chicken and avocado sandwich (smashed black beans, spicy cabbage slaw, pickled jalapeños on a milk bun, $12)

take a stroll down south congress street where shops and restaurants abound. the storefronts are all designed to showcase their own character (checkout farm to market grocery, uncommon objects for example), while low-hanging tree branches covered in white lights (i’m looking at you perla’s) complement the movie-like appeal of this area. stop in to apana’s coffee + beer while walking back toward downtown to grab one of their craft brews on tap or specialty coffees. or bring your laptop and setup your own office for the day.

if you’re like me and you can never get enough mexican food, do not miss a chance to dine at torchy’s tacos, which will satisfy your craving while keeping your budget in mind. get there early for the breakfast tacos (we didn’t, sadly), but if you can’t, you can’t go wrong with anything on the menu. we recommend the baja shrimp taco (hand-battered fried shrimp with cooked cabbage slaw topped with pickled jalapeños and onions, queso fresco, cilantro and a wedge of lime; served with chipotle sauce on a corn tortilla) and dirty sanchez taco (scrambled eggs with a fried poblano chile, guacamole, escabeche carrots and shredded cheese, served with poblano sauce on a fresh flour tortilla.) do not skip on the queso (served with homemade chips, this delicious green chile queso is topped with guacamole, queso fresco, cilantro and diablo hot sauce!)

for brunch, dine at swift’s attic for dollar mimosas and the best french toast (called the “tcb” it is brioche french toast, peanut butter, house cured bacon, salted caramel, bananas, $12.) others at the table were dining on shrimp remoulade (frisee, lardon, roasted potatoes, poached vital farms egg, hot sauce, $16) and the turkey hash (holy trinity, house-smoked turkey, roasted tomatoes, homefries, dos lunas “chee-zee” egg, $12.)

just downstairs from swift’s attic is this hole-in-the-wall jazz club called the elephant room. it’s the perfect date night place, keeping jazz cool way before before la la land did. order a cool in the basement lemonade signature cocktail and cozy up to the one you love under the flickering lights of the red candles.

another unique spot is a little speakeasy called firehouse lounge hidden in a hostel. once you figure out how to get inside, the dark and cozy interior invites you to melt into its leather seats and enjoy live music while sipping on fancy cocktails. treat yourself and order the jack rose (applejack, lime, house pomegranate syrup, $12) or the moscow mule (vodka, lime, touch of simple, ginger brew, $8.5.)

for late night, head over to sixth street where the roads get blocked off to bring the city’s hottest entertainment area to life. there are so many bars/clubs to choose from that you’re bound to have one that fits your vibe. take an ID, but leave the cash at home -- zero covers! grab some grub at one of the many food trucks or swing into p. terry’s burger stand for a late night cheeseburger ($2.65!) and fries ($1.75!)

for sunday fundays, hit up rainey street where rows of houses have been transformed into individual bars oozing of character and charm. like much of austin, there is a house-turned-bar that fits every need. we soaked up the sun over hops at craft pride, bar 96 and bungalow.

our shoulda, coulda, wouldas:

the colorado river is constantly populated with paddleboards, kayaks, paddleboats, etc. you can rent one from several places, just get outside and get in the river.

speaking of the river, just before dusk, hundreds of people gather on the congress avenue bridge to watch the bats rise in the summer. apparently this bridge is home to the world’s largest bat colony, with some suggesting there are approximately 1.5 million bats living under this bridge in the hot texas summers! it’s weird and creepy and touristy and yet i wanted to experience it. we saw people lining the bridge waiting on the bats, but our fasten driver said it was too cool out so they were wasting their time. silly tourists.

while not unique to this area, i heard nothing but good stuff about these massive donuts at voodoo doughnut based out of portland. unfortunately, i didn’t have the time to grab one to taste for myself. i’ll be back for them (i’m looking at you old dirty bastard doughnut: raised yeast doughnut with chocolate frosting, oreo's and peanut butter) because in my world, calories don’t count on vacation.

apparently there’s this beautiful spot about thirty minutes outside of austin called lake travis with wineries (bent oak winery for example), breweries (oasis texas brewing company for example) and some other cool shops and restaurants. do a car share with car2go, pack a picnic, let down your hair and enjoy the drive. 

grab barbecue at salt lick. unfortunately, i didn’t have the time to get to the actual restaurant, so i picked up a pulled pork sandwich (romaine lettuce, sliced tomato, purple onions, special sauce, $9.95) with potato salad at the airport. still worth it and certainly makes me want to get out to the real deal.

final tips and tricks:

there’s no uber or lyft in austin (i know!) but don’t panic. we recommend an app called fasten or ride austin.

still want one more good cocktail? slip into the vietnamese cafe and french bakery of elizabeth street cafe and order a shady blonde (sparkling wine, lillet blanc, grapefruit and thyme, $8.) you made it this far through the austin blog, you deserve some bubbly for crying out loud!

and finally, head next door to criquet shirts. if you’re into polos with a solid business model, you won’t be disappointed by their office-meets-retail shop. and give a shout out to our new friends here that welcomed us as strangers into their final four party and can throw a kick-ass frat party that even makes a thirty something feel young again. 

from boozy bungalows to sunset bats, this blue dot in a red state has everything and more for any type of traveler. if you’re a frequent visitor or lover of asheville, north carolina you’ll fall in love with this part of texas as quickly as i did. so if you’re heading to austin any time soon, let me know and i’ll happily share a google doc with you that has all of this information and more in an easy-to-access file for your smartphone. and if you need a traveling buddy, let’s go!

until the next adventure, cheers to a life well traveled!

[zaylinda]

Welcome, friends, to a brand-new 5-part series I’m calling “WTF is a boiled creme treat’.

A boiled creme treat appears in Skyrim, has no recipe, and has confounded greater minds than mine. Bethesda has never said what they were based on. They look like this:

Attempt number one - Cream Puffs.

Honestly, the first thing I think of when I think of ‘boiled cream’ (or ‘boiled creme’) is Pastry Cream (or creme patissiere), and what does that luscious custard go better in than a cream puff?

So that’s what I tried.

The pastry cream recipe I used turned out a little more runny than I wanted, but it’s flipping delicious so I don’t care too much.

Buckle on your butts, because there’s a halfassed recipe coming up under the cut!

First step, make yourself some cream puffs.

Cream Puffs

1/2 cup water 1/4 cup butter 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 2 eggs

Preheat the oven to 375.

Get out your favorite medium-sized saucepan and a wooden spoon and place on the stove over medium heat. Add the water and the butter and let that shit come to a simmer, melting the butter completely.

While you’re waiting for that to happen, pull your eggs out of the fridge, put them in the liquid measuring cup (unbroken) and cover them with warm water. You want your eggs room temp, but nobody’s got time to let them warm up on the counter for hours. Use my cheaters method. Save a life.

Now, your water and butter is boiling. Take it off the heat, dump the flour in all at once, and stir it vigorously. Now return it to the heat, and keep stirring until it comes together to make a smooth shiny dough that clumps together real nice.

Take it off the heat a final time, and let it sit for about five minutes to cool. It should be still warm, but not burning. While you wait, smack a piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet.

Now you’re going to add the eggs. Take them out of their nice warm bath and break one into the pot. Stir it in vigorously with the wooden spoon. It’s going to look curdled and like it’s never going to come together, but stick with it. Soon the two will become one. Then, add the second egg the same way and stir until it’s totally homogeneous.

Congratulations! You now have a sloppy sticky mass of pâte à choux. At this point you may stir in some red food coloring if you’d like. The boiled creme treat is pretty red.

Scoop that shit onto the prepared cookie sheet. I used a muffin scoop, and made massive giant cream puffs because yolo. You may want to make more delicately sized puffs, which is fine. No one is judging here. I chose to spread mine out a bit with a spoon to flatten them, since the boiled creme treats are pretty flat in-game, but you don’t have to.

Whatever you choose, give them plenty of space. They will spread.

Pop those suckers in your delightfully preheated oven, close the door, and DO NOT OPEN IT FOR 30 MINUTES. If you open it, they will fall. Don’t make me come over there and smack your hands.

Maybe keep yourself busy as you wait by cleaning out your saucepan and making--

Pastry Cream (aka the boiled creme itself)

3/4 cups heavy cream 3/4 cups whole milk 3 Tbsp all-purpose flour (I used 2 and it was Not Enough) a tiny pinch salt, just a few grains to open up the flavors 1/4 cup granulated sugar 2 duck eggs (or 2 chicken eggs and an extra yolk. I only used duck because I have some on hand and wanted to try them in a custard) 2 tsp vanilla

Ok. Put your cream, milk, and flour, along with the salt, in your freshly cleaned saucepan. Get out a wire whisk and whisk that up good, so there are no flour lumps. Put it on medium heat, and turn to your eggs.

Crack the eggs into a medium bowl, toss the sugar in with them, and whisk it like your life depends on it. Whisk it hard. Whisk it good. If you don’t whisk it well enough there will be egg lumps in the custard and you will bring shame upon your ancestors, but adding the sugar in there really helps. It’s like turning it to easy mode. You can totally do this. I BELIEVE IN YOU!

Don’t forget about your cream mixture while you’re eggbeating. In fact, you should probably have your egg beating station right next to your stove, and alternate between mixing the cream as it heats to keep there from being flour lumps cooking and burning to the bottom of the saucepan, and whisking your eggs, using the same whisk to keep from making too many dishes. Multitasking at its finest.

By the time your cream mixture is hot, the eggs should be whisked enough and you can ignore them for a bit and pay attention to it. Stir gently but thoroughly, making sure to reach all parts of the bottom of the pan so you don’t get burnt spots. It will thicken and bubble. Let it boil for a bit, to make sure the raw-flour taste is cooked out.

Now, it is time for the tempering.

Whisk your eggs, and slowly pour the custard into the eggs. When you’ve got it about halfway poured into the eggs, reverse directions and pour the eggs into the saucepan, whisking vigorously. Return to Low heat and keep stirring for a few minutes, to let the eggs cook but not so far they curdle, then remove from the heat. Add your vanilla and taste. Do you want it sweeter, more vanilla? Think it needs a dash of cinnamon or nutmeg? Do that now. Then pop the lid on top and leave it alone.

Let your glorious custard chill until cold. I put mine outside for an hour like a true Nord because it’s winter, but a fridge will do.

Now return to THE CREAM PUFFS

Have they left the oven yet? That should be happening pretty soon. When your half hour is up, remove them from the oven. They should have grown considerably and be puffy and might be a bit craggy like popovers. They should feel hard and sound hollow when tapped. If not, return them to the oven from whence they came!

Put them on a rack to cool, and cut a small hole in the top with a small knife (a steak knife works well) to let the steam escape so they can be nice and crisp.

Let those cool completely as well. Now clean up your workspace and tools, you animal! It shouldn’t take too long, then you can go watch some netflix or something while you wait.

When everything is nicely cooled and chilled, it’s time to assemble the treats.

Optional step: Glaze (the boiled creme treat in-game looks pretty shiny, so glaze it is)

1/4 cup sugar 1 Tbsp water 1 Tbsp honey a few drops red food coloring (optional)

in a small saucepan, heat everything together until it boils and the sugar is completely dissolved. Remove from the heat and immediately brush over the tops and sides of the cream puffs with a pastry brush. If you don’t have a pastry brush, you can kind of awkwardly dip the top of them into the syrup, but it’s messy and awkward and seriously WHY don’t you have a pastry brush? You can get perfectly serviceable silicone pastry brushes at the dollar store. Get some. Have a kitchen full of tools like an adult.

Once they’re glazed, they’re going to have to sit again for a bit to set the glaze.

Now, finally, stir up your pastry cream, and put it into a pastry bag (or a ziplock bag and then clip one corner off. No judgement for not having this one, they’re not as easy to come by or as useful as a pastry brush)

Fill your cream puffs. Fill them to overflowing.

And then, THEN my friend. Feast.

Just maybe hold a plate under your chin while you do so because these things are Messy(tm).

Ok. Post-recipe judgement time. Are these the One True Boiled Creme Treat? I don’t think so. Aesthetically, they just don’t fit the bill. Also, I’m going to have to deduct points from myself for having used refined sugar instead of the more skyrim-appropriate honey.

Deliciousness aside (and there is so much deliciousness), I think we’re going to have to try again.

[edgewaterfarmcsa]

FALL CSA WEEK 2

Pick List:

TOMATOES - KALE - SWEET PEPPERS - LUNCH BOX PEPPERS - DRYING PEPPERS -

SWEET POTATOES - POTATOES - POBLANO PEPPERS - BROCCOLI - CAULIFLOWER -

LETTUCE - RASPBERRIES - ONION - APPLES - EGGS

 KITCHEN LIST:

ANADAMA BREAD

ROASTED VEGGIES or GARLIC SCAPE & CILANTRO PESTO or ROASTED PEPPER SAUCE

 BONUS LIST:  B.Y.O.Bouquet (build your own bouquet!)    

Yall- we got frosted.  It’s official.  Summer is over.  That said, before the 32 degree chill settled on River Road we picked a ton of peppers.  While you might be overwhelmed by them right now- i urge you to savor them as this will be the last you see of peppers for the rest of the season, so please enjoy.  See tips- tricks - recipes for info on all the peppers.

The following is a PSA on all the pre-made food overflowing from our farmstand kitchen:

CASSEROLES:  Hands down, the easiest “farm to table” meal you will feed your family this fall.  $12.99 a meal.  They are absolute comfort in a warm square dish.

SAUCES - DIPS - CONDIMENTS (this falls into my favorite food group: things that make it ok to eat a mostly cracker diet): horseradish, pesto, chimichurri, romesco, tomato pesto--- all great sauces and spreads that will sustain your need of summer bounty throughout the winter.  They also make great gifts, party tricks and housewarming treats!

For more ideas and questions as how to use these spreads email your favorite cook and mine, emily:emsedibles13@gmail.com

When you pick up your CSA share on Wednesday nights, know that everything in the coolers and freezers (casseroles, cookie, dough, spreads, and even chicken!) is available for purchase along with the Maple Syrup, bagged potatoes, etc…

Also, your Thanksgiving is about to get so easy.  Emily will put together a comprehensive list with prices of pre-made food to pre-order to ease your big meal anxiety/impress all your friends and family.  Simply, take food out of the container and display it as if you made it yourself- no one will ever know. Think, Mrs. Doubtfire when Robin Williams impresses his/her ex-wife with take-out.  

 TIPS - TRICKS - RECIPES

Carmen (long orange) - Red Bell - Quart of lunch box:

 these are all sweet peppers!

POBLANO PEPPER:  

dark green, heart shape, thin walls- excellent for roasting and stuffing.  Mild heat here folks.  

Mole Pepper:  

long dark greenish brown pepper- this is not a hot pepper! It is ideal for drying and making sauce!! The MOLE sauce is the most magical sauce that comes from the most magical state of Oaxaca, Mexico (not kidding about either of these statements).  This sauce leans heavy on the mole and poblano pepper and typically goes with chicken.   

CAYENNE PEPPER:  HOT HOT HOT.  easy to dry and you can absolutely enjoy it all winter long.  Also, this pepper is insanely good for your immune system.  

WHAT YOU’LL NEED

» Several fresh peppers, each with a couple of inches of stem intact

» A length of heavyweight fishing line (ideally 25 lbs or higher)

» 2 sticks (foraged from outside is fine)

» 1 large-eyed needle

WHAT TO DO

Knot one end of your fishing line around one of your sticks (see photo at above). This will act as your anchor, keeping your chilies from sliding off the line. Then thread the other end of the line through the eye of your needle, just as you would if you were getting ready to sew. Using the needle, pierce your largest pepper through the widest part of its stem (see above). Pull the needle all the way through the stem and slide the pepper down to the end of the fishing line, until it hits your anchor.

Take your next largest pepper and repeat, piercing the stem and pulling the needle and line all the way through, then sliding the pepper down the line. Continue until you’ve strung all of your peppers, largest to smallest. Knot the end of the fishing line around another stick for stability and hang in a cool, dark, and relatively humidity-free spot. You don’t have to find a desert microclimate; a pantry or cabinet will work fine; too close to a steamy dishwasher or stove is less than ideal.

We’ve just strung the batch pictured up top, so timing is TBD, but we’re thinking we’ve got weeks to wait. In the case of poblanos, the peppers will be dry when they’re thoroughly brittle and have turned from forest green to red. We think we’ll be able to tell when they’re wrinkly enough.

   (make extra!  This recipe only calls for 2 sweet peppers but you can easily make more and adjust recipe accordingly- this is my weekend plan- it freezes beautifully to enjoy all winter- and yes, if you participated in the Summer CSA you have seen this recipe before because it is just that good).  

½ cup toasted sunflower seeds 2 roasted sweet peppers

2 cloves of garlic, chopped 1 teaspoon smoked paprika

pinch of cayenne 2 tablespoons sherry OR apple cider vinegar

1 tablespoon tomato paste small handful flat parsley leaves

sea salt and ground black pepper scant ½ cup virgin olive oil

Roasting peppers: Place the peppers cut side down on a rimmed baking sheet that has been lined with parchment paper.Roast the peppers in the pre-heated 450 degree oven for about 25 minutes; or until the skins are completely wrinkled and the peppers are charred, rotating the sheet if necessary for them to cook evenly.

Make the sunflower romesco: In the bowl of a food processor, combine the sunflower seeds, roasted red peppers, garlic, paprika, aleppo pepper, vinegar, tomato paste, parsley, salt, and pepper. Pulse the mixture until all ingredients are finely chopped and lightly pasty. Scrape the bowl down. Then, with the motor on low, drizzle the olive oil in through the feed tube until fully incorporated. Check the sauce for seasoning. Transfer sauce to a sealable jar, and set aside in the fridge until ready to use.

[4uzzle]

Sheep Stuffed Animals

Spiritually, sheep represent good and innocence, thus it is no marvel sheep stuffed animals are often given as gifts to newborn infants. Sheep stuffed animals are a happy various to a teddy bear plush toy, significantly if yow will discover one which has floppy arms and legs this only enhances their softness and snuggability. Rather than sheep stuffed animals, their offspring (known as lambs) are also popular, significantly as gifts for babies. Given lambs are symbols of purity, it is no shock to find that these plush toys are most popular baby gifts. It's believed that sheep are descendants of the European and Asian wild mouflon -a sub-species of wild sheep. Sheep are additionally considered one of the first animals to be domesticated (over 10,000 years in the past) particularly for their fleece, meat and milk. Their fleece is extensively used to make wool and is faraway from the animal by shearing their coats. A bunch of sheep known as a herd; females are referred to as ewes, males as rams or tups, and infants are lambs. Domesticated sheep are fairly different from their wild family members and ancestors largely on account of man's human affect. Wild sheep may have horns whereas most domesticated sheep do not.

Nowadays everyone seems to be desirous about saving money and saving the setting, and as we all know that is a lovely factor. However how does that lead us to raising chickens, you might ask? Chickens are environmentally secure and really rewarding pet that may prevent heaps of money. Chickens are additionally, and do not take this lightly, chickens are a great source of entertainment also. You do not know the hours of fun your loved ones could have just watching these animals. They are just like another animal and each and everyone has a very distinct personality of their own, which makes raising them not solely entertaining but in addition a terrific bonding expertise. When you have by no means seen, held or been round chickens you must try it, you will fall in love instantly! So with all the nice benefits to raising chickens it's important to ask yourself "who would not desire a chicken coop?" And that i happen to agree! The center of city options the busy Market Sq.. One other bustling place to go is the Rewell Centre, a big and considerable mall positioned between the Market Square and the Gulf. Summer time is certainly the time to visit Vaasa, when the days are endlessly long. The truth is, Vaasa boasts being Finland's sunniest metropolis, and you'll find that a lot of the recreational activities are based mostly across the open-air and the water. Fishing, crusing, boat tours and excursions around the island archipelago in the Gulf, along with seal and birdwatching fill the lengthy summer days with outside pleasure. Vaasa additionally options the Waslandia amusement park, where you can have a full day of family enjoyable, with all sorts of rides and various activities. Tropiclandia is a water park with both indoor and outside water slides, saunas and even bubble baths. In fact you can spend a number of time having fun with the structure, castles and museums.

It is also price noting that grass clippings from the lawn mower have been known to trigger issues in chickens generally known as an 'impacted crop'. As a hen eats a range of foods their 'crop' fills up and at night time the crop empties into the gut. If chickens grass clippings which are quite long, these many type into a ball in their crop, stopping them from then consuming correctly. This drawback doesn't occur if chickens are left to peck on the uncut lawn themselves as they are going to eat small items of lawn at a time. Adopt an alpaca Hensting Roky Road Gold So be sure that your grass cuttings are nice and brief if you'll feed them to your chickens, in any other case add them to the compost heap instead. Do I have to also feed by chickens layer pellets? A balanced food regimen to your yard flock is essential and might generally not be obtained from solely kitchen scraps or backyard weeds. For optimum well being don't prohibit the feed intake of layer pellets. Interestingly, chickens can't overeat and need an everyday supply of feed to fulfill their nutritional necessities. A self-feeder with a daily supply of feed is often used for yard chickens. Most laying chickens eat roughly 120g layer pellets or grain mix per day or round 850g per week, but is determined by the quantity of other scraps or grasses that they are also supplied with. How much water do chickens drink? Chickens drink from 1 to 2 cups water a day (from 250ml to 500ml), with extra consumed in scorching weather. It is necessary that you've got a regular provide of fresh water in your hen coop as too little water ends in dehydration, extreme stress, and a decline in egg manufacturing. Chickens who have gone with out water for 24 hours are stated to take 24 more hours to get again to regular.

As well as, the horse-like, white animal we're used to within the west, is much totally different from the animal that's depicted in Chinese folklore within the east. The only commonality between the 2, is the unicorn's single horn. Unicorns were said to have first appeared about 5,000 years ago to present the secrets and techniques of a written language to Chinese language Emperor Fu Hsi. In 2697 B.C., some four,700 years ago, another unicorn appeared, this time in the backyard of the Chinese language Yellow emperor Huang Di. The emperor believed that the sighting meant the reign of his kingdom can be long and peaceful. Like China, there were other Asian international locations that also believed in unicorns. In Japan, unicorns had been often called 'Kirin' and had the body of a bull and a shaggy mane. Not like China, nonetheless, where they believed unicorns had been good, unicorns in Japan were a supply of worry, especially to criminals. It was believed that Japanese unicorns may detect guilt and in consequence, judges would name upon these creatures throughout authorized disputes so as to determine which of the events have been guilty. As I stepped out the door this morning to head out to the barn, I noticed our pond was overflowing a lot like it does in the spring when all the snow melts. I made my way by way of the rain to the barn to feed the alpacas, barn cat, chickens and ducks (the only ones who actually appear to benefit from the rain). I've began feeding the alpacas their grain within the barn lately as a result of our catch pen the place they usually eat is a muddy swamp. I avoid crossing it at all price for worry of loosing a boot in the soupy mud. Whereas some of the older and wiser alpacas will sleep in the barn when it is raining, most of them prefer to put outdoors. All of them appeared like drowned rats this morning. When haucayas get wet, they keep dry on the inside of their blanket close to their skin (which retains them warm), however the skin gets drenched and hangs more the suri fiber is wet wanting locks.

[culturespotting]

Sheep Stuffed Animals

Spiritually, sheep symbolize good and innocence, thus it's no marvel sheep stuffed animals are sometimes given as gifts to newborn infants. Sheep stuffed animals are a contented various to a teddy bear plush toy, significantly if you could find one which has floppy arms and legs this solely enhances their softness and snuggability. Rather than sheep stuffed animals, their offspring (called lambs) are additionally common, notably as gifts for babies. Given lambs are symbols of purity, it is no surprise to find that these plush toys are preferred child gifts. It's believed that sheep are descendants of the European and Asian wild mouflon -a sub-species of wild sheep. Sheep are also one in every of the first animals to be domesticated (over 10,000 years ago) particularly for their fleece, meat and milk. Their fleece is extensively used to make wool and is removed from the animal by shearing their coats. A gaggle of sheep is called a herd; females are known as ewes, males as rams or tups, and infants are lambs. Domesticated sheep are fairly totally different from their wild kinfolk and ancestors mostly on account of man's human affect. Wild sheep might have horns whereas most domesticated sheep do not.

These days everyone is occupied with saving cash and saving the atmosphere, and as everyone knows that's a phenomenal thing. But how does that lead us to raising chickens, chances are you'll ask? Chickens are environmentally secure and very rewarding pet that can prevent tons of cash. Chickens are also, and don't take this calmly, chickens are an excellent supply of leisure also. You have no idea the hours of fun your loved ones can have simply watching these animals. They are just like any other animal and each and everybody has a really distinct personality of their own, which makes elevating them not solely entertaining but in addition an awesome bonding expertise. In case you have by no means seen, held or been around chickens you have to strive it, you will fall in love instantly! So with all the good benefits to elevating chickens you must ask yourself "who wouldn't desire a chicken coop?" And i happen to agree! The center of town features the busy Market Sq.. Another bustling place to go is the Rewell Centre, a large and abundant mall positioned between the Market Square and the Gulf. Summer season is certainly the time to visit Vaasa, when the times are endlessly long. In actual fact, Vaasa boasts being Finland's sunniest metropolis, and you will find that most of the recreational actions are primarily based across the open-air and the water. Fishing, crusing, boat tours and excursions around the island archipelago in the Gulf, along with seal and birdwatching fill the long summer days with out of doors pleasure. Vaasa also features the Waslandia amusement park, the place you'll be able to have a full day of family enjoyable, with all kinds of rides and varied activities. Tropiclandia is a water park with both indoor and out of doors water slides, saunas and even bubble baths. After all you may spend numerous time enjoying the architecture, castles and museums.

It is also worth noting that grass clippings from the lawn mower have been identified to trigger problems in chickens generally known as an 'impacted crop'. As a rooster eats a range of foods their 'crop' fills up and at evening the crop empties into the gut. If chickens grass clippings which can be fairly long, these many form right into a ball of their crop, preventing them from then consuming properly. This problem would not happen if chickens are left to peck at the uncut lawn themselves as they will eat small items of lawn at a time. Hensting Alpacas So ensure that your grass cuttings are nice and brief if you will feed them to your chickens, otherwise add them to the compost heap as an alternative. Do I need to also feed by chickens layer pellets? A balanced food regimen in your backyard flock is essential and can usually not be obtained from only kitchen scraps or garden weeds. For optimum health do not restrict the feed intake of layer pellets. Apparently, chickens can't overeat and want a daily supply of feed to satisfy their nutritional requirements. A self-feeder with an everyday supply of feed is often used for yard chickens. Most laying chickens eat approximately 120g layer pellets or grain combine per day or round 850g per week, however is determined by the amount of other scraps or grasses that they're also equipped with. How a lot water do chickens drink? Chickens drink from 1 to 2 cups water a day (from 250ml to 500ml), with extra consumed in scorching weather. It is crucial that you have a regular supply of fresh water in your rooster coop as too little water results in dehydration, extreme stress, and a decline in egg production. Chickens who have gone with out water for 24 hours are stated to take 24 more hours to get again to normal.

In addition, the horse-like, white animal we're used to in the west, is far different from the animal that's depicted in Chinese folklore in the east. The only commonality between the two, is the unicorn's single horn. Unicorns had been mentioned to have first appeared about 5,000 years in the past to present the secrets and techniques of a written language to Chinese language Emperor Fu Hsi. In 2697 B.C., some 4,700 years ago, another unicorn appeared, this time within the backyard of the Chinese Yellow emperor Huang Di. The emperor believed that the sighting meant the reign of his kingdom could be long and peaceful. Like China, there were different Asian countries that also believed in unicorns. In Japan, unicorns have been known as 'Kirin' and had the body of a bull and a shaggy mane. Not like China, nonetheless, the place they believed unicorns have been good, unicorns in Japan were a supply of concern, especially to criminals. It was believed that Japanese unicorns could detect guilt and consequently, judges would name upon these creatures during authorized disputes so as to determine which of the parties had been responsible. As I stepped out the door this morning to head out to the barn, I seen our pond was overflowing much prefer it does within the spring when all of the snow melts. I made my manner by means of the rain to the barn to feed the alpacas, barn cat, chickens and ducks (the one ones who actually appear to benefit from the rain). I have started feeding the alpacas their grain in the barn these days because our catch pen where they normally eat is a muddy swamp. I keep away from crossing it in any respect value for concern of loosing a boot within the soupy mud. While a few of the older and wiser alpacas will sleep in the barn when it's raining, most of them want to lay outdoors. All of them regarded like drowned rats this morning. When haucayas get wet, they keep dry on the inside of their blanket near their skin (which retains them heat), but the outside gets drenched and hangs more the suri fiber is wet trying locks.

[thebusmansholiday]

Beijing - Shanghai - Xi’an - Urumqi

Beijing

Exiting Ping'an subway station on the look out for our hotel, that unmistakable sound of a man coughing up some gob and spitting it out on the pavement in front of us, and I knew I was back in China....

Struggling with serious jet lag on the first few days, wondering around the sights of the Chinese capital in the unseasonal blistering heat was a struggle at times. Deciding to walk through the Forbidden City in the midday sun was a big mistake, the masses just keep pouring into the former emperors palaces, armed with selfie sticks and umbrella hats.

The heavenly temple gardens just before sunset were the perfect escape from the crowds, it's a must visit if you are ever in Beijing, and do it in spring if possible, when the trees are blossoming and locals gather to play music in small brass bands or crowd around tables playing board games.  What you notice about the many public parks in the city is that the elderly population make full use of them, with large groups decked out in tracksuits going through aerobic sessions to music pumping from mini ghetto blasters.

Now, onto food...  The back street 'Hutong' alleys of Beijing are full of little food stalls, and the abundance of choice can be a tad overwhelming. Trying to order from a Chinese only menu is also a daunting experience at times. If the menu has pictures then we can eat there, if not we try pointing at what someone else is already eating and rudely point at their food, usually noodle soup with a little side salad of spinach(?) spring onion and peanuts.

Little round sweet pastries from peoples front windows, turned shop front, are a delicious cheap (¥1) treat for afters.  You can never go hungry in this city, no matter what time of day, a cheap late brunch option is never far away. Our favourite in Beijing is the Breakfast wrap:  corn bread mix spread onto a hot plate with an egg cracked on top, filled with salad, crispy noodle and some spring onion and coriander sprinkled on top then folded over into a wrap.

Also, small deep fried pastries filled with spinach and spring onion (Again, it might not be spinach) being a popular choice for us to keep energy levels up during our marathon walking sessions. With the iphone app measuring the amount of steps we are undertaking, it has become a bit of an obsession to walk everywhere rather than take a short hop on the metro. Our record in Beijing was 32,858.

'When in Peking'... we tried Peking duck at 'Liqun Roast Duck' a cool hidden backstreet location which served us an absolute feast of food. All the duck is shredded up for you by the chief carver on a table next to you, so you can just get stuck in and don't have to fiddle around with it. Little rice pancakes come on a plate for you to make your own little duck wrap combinations with all the different sides that come with the set menu for two. Deep fried aubergine, mushrooms, cucumber, spicy potatoes, spinach(again) peanuts. It was well worth the ¥340 (£38) price.

We took a coach trip to the great wall on our final day. It is spectacular viewing, seeing it wind through the mountain tops and a true wonder at just how the hell they managed to construct it all the way back in 700 BC. Only problem is, with a coach trip you are given only 3 hours to walk up to it, walk along it, and walk back to the coach park before the coach driver and guide want to get back to town for supper. You could spend far longer up there, but a coach trip seems the only option available for day trips from Beijing.

Our final meal in the city and we were very curious about the famous Wangpangzi Donkey burger chain.  Sorry, but I have to try, for you the reader. Served in a crispy bread bap, with spring onion and fresh chillies, it was really delicious! 2 for a quid makes it a very satisfying dinner.

19/04/17 BEIJING TO SHANGHAI G115 train departing at 09.22 Duration: 5hrs 40mins £60 (approx) second class seat

It was great to be back on the People's Railway. The high speed network here is rapidly expanding and makes a mockery of the uk's struggle to try to shade 30 minutes off the London to Birmingham route. Here it actually serves a useful purpose: to move the vast, always on the move population between the sprawling metropolises.

We were en route to Shanghai, a near 900 mile journey that can be done in under 5 hours, and we hoped a slightly slower, mid morning Wednesday 'G-train' would be relatively quiet, but the herds of wheely suitcases just kept on rolling down the isles filling up the luggage racks around us. Luckily the G-Train offers ample leg room to stretch out, but any chance of nodding off for a midday nap were dashed when we realised the 'adults' sat around us liked to play loud video games on their mobiles.

Shanghai is much cleaner and a bit more orderly than the manic streets of Beijing. It has a much more western feel, big shiny sky scrappers and more chain stores on offer. Despite this, it retains a real buzz of life that we were to see throughout China.

The Chinese live outside, front windows are turned into makeshift takeaway food joints, parks become outside gyms where people of all ages unashamedly stretch out their limbs placing them over heads, up onto monkey bars (very flexible people) and really unwind after the daily stresses of city life. It seems no one eats at home, everyone utilises the cheap local restaurants, dumpling soup kitchens and filled steam bun stands for their breakfast lunch and dinner.

After the expenses of the great wall tour we needed to start reigning in our spending if we were to stay within budget. For such a long period away it would be too easy for spending to spiral out of control. Me and Louisa had a very strict long term economic plan and it centred around cheap food. In Shanghai it was all about the dumpling soup. For a quid we could get a big bowl of ten veggie or pork filled dumplings in a hot spicy soup. Also, Steamed buns, which were becoming a staple of the trip, filled with curried cabbage was our favourite of the many varieties you can find on most streets.

It was great to meet up with Chairman Matt (as he is known locally) and some of the other Shanghai expats in the evening. We were treated to a feast of food at 'Grandmothers Home' restaurant on our final night in the city. We were then taken back in time to the late 90's /early 00's at 'Ellens', a dive bar where a few rebellious local youth like to down shots to pumping tunes. The staircase up to this venue is bricked up for some reason, leaving the elevator as the only escape from the 3rd floor venue. (Keith Lard, of phoenix nights fame, would have a fit!) With a busy restaurant on the floor above, using the same elevator, it was a long wait for our group of 6 to leave and move onto the next watering hole.

21/04/17 SHANGHAI TO XI'AN Z92 Train departing at 18.44 Duration: 14hrs 45mins Soft Sleeper - £52

The Z92 sleeper train pulled out of the main Shanghai railway station at sunset. Being a Friday it was packed with people heading home for the weekend. Luckily for us, no one took up the other bunk beds in our 4 bed compartment and we were able to spread out and enjoy a romantic chicken and mushroom pot noodle dinner for two. Served with tomatoes, and bread for dipping in the left over soup.

The most distinctive feature of Xi'an, and you see it as soon as you arrive at the main railway station, is the iconic perimeter wall that surrounds the old central part of the city. The wall dates back six centuries and extends for more than 14km and you can walk all the way around the top of it. At 12 meters high it makes for a pleasant stroll to take in the sights of the city. We walked the whole lot and in doing so smashed our daily steps record for the trip with a score of 37,564 (21.3 km) taking our 7 day average up to an impressive 24,000.

At night, along with the drum and bell towers, the wall is lit up with rows of red lanterns and spotlights that reflect attractively in the waters of the surrounding moat. You really get a feel for the old ancient, mystical China when in Xi'an. You also start to see a more diverse ethnic mix in the population. Xi'an is the start/end point of the ancient silk road, and as well as being a famous trading route for goods, over time traders from the predominantly muslim middle east and central asia have ended up settling here.

The Muslim quarter of the city is characterised by it's minuet domes and it's famous nightly food market, which is a real pull for two hungry travellers on the look out for a cheap meal. The hand stretched noodles are famous and the men cutting them up and whipping them on the ground draws crowds. We are cajoled by an eager host into a nearby noodle cafe to try some of them. Without choosing, ours are covered in a peanut butter sauce, and a sprinkling of veg and chilli on top.

Again, like in Beijing and Shanghai, the public parks here are heaving with locals stretching, running, playing table tennis, dominoes. The Xi'an 'peoples  parks' are particularly charming as they border the outside of the medieval perimeter wall.

23/04/17 XI'AN TO URUMQI Z105 Train departing at 11.02 Duration: 24hrs 13mins Soft Sleeper £75

Two local Xi'an lads heading west for the week shared our 4 person berth. They looked like they were on a 'business' trip of some sort. Maybe someone at the Xinjiang end of the business wasn't playing ball? Lo spotted the armani jeans and high heeled leather ankle boots, along with a rolling stones live in Zurich 1817(?) t shirt. Also, a faded England football cap, worn with the bent visa as if on his way to tear up some quiet Belgian town at euro 2000.

The first hour of a 25 hour journey was a struggle to settle in. Our cabin was in a bit of a state from the night before, the occupants from Jinan to Xi'an had left half empty pot noodles and an overflowing bin for us. The Chinese carriage attendants didn't  seem too bothered about it, and there was no way Chinese Danny Dyer, a toothpick in mouth kinda guy, or his pot bellied mate were clearing it up.

We enquired with our new friends where they were heading, and a glance at the time table showed they would be leaving us around 1am which offered hope of some space and a bit of peace and quiet overnight. This is customary chit chat on long sleeper journeys. People act polite in asking where each other is going, inside you are all just hoping the others are f***ing off soon so you can have the compartment to yourself. We had it easy on the Shanghai to Xi'an leg, no one to share with, a delightful introduction to long haul train journeys for Lo.

Things got a bit confused at Lanzhou station around sunset. Me and Lo are outside stretching our legs haggling for some apples from one of the platform food sellers. We come back to find we have been joined by another room mate for the night. That makes it 5 people sharing a 4 bed compartment? Confusion all round for a while, especially from our new Lanzhou buddy who's not sure where to put his stuff. He is a big lad, chubby baby faced, no older than 20, carrying a bag of sweets and watching videos out loud on his extra large samsung mobile. This is obviously alarming, coming up to bed time. But what really concerns us is his heavy breathing, especially as he struggles up to his top bunk berth. He is going to be a big snorer and me and Lo know it. Along with Danny, a heavy smoker, it could be a long night ahead...

It turns out Danny's mate doesn't even have a ticket for this bit, he is supposed to be a carriage down, slumming it in hard sleeper (third class) but has just been hanging out with us for the day at no extra cost. As we make up our beds for the night, making it clear to all that we are wanting some sleep, Danny's mate finally leaves us for his actual seat, and all is quiet for about 5 mins before the crescendo of gargling throat noise begins from the beds opposite.

Danny left us at Jiuaguan station at 1am, the door slamming shut behind him woke up the big lad on the top bunk, and we had a brief spell of quiet as he rolled onto his side into the recovery position and began breathing a bit easier.

That was now the aim of the game for me and Lo. Every time he rolled on to his back and started bellowing out his struggling diaphragm rhythms, we had to try and wake him up. I tried a loud clap of the hands, this woke him up but didn't force him to turn over. Lo would scream "for f*cks sake, please stop!" again, this woke him up in a mild state of bemusement and for a few seconds we would have peace before he started up again. Lo eventually lost it and grabbed his arm and shook him. I switched on my bedside light and as he looked down at me wondering what the hell was going on, I begged him "please just stop that noise!" and hand signalled for him to turn over. I don't think he spoke a word of the queens but he got the message and we finally got some sleep before he left us at 6am at Hami Station, a small town on the ancient silk road famous for it's sweet melons.

The rolling desert landscape seemed like it would go on forever until out of nowhere appears this huge ugly looking metropolis in the distance. Exiting Urumqi South station and we knew we had arrived in Central Asia. The world's Uyghur Muslim population is around 8 million. 7.5 million of them live here, in the Xianjing Uyghur Autonomous Province of China, known to Uyghur's as East Turkestan. It's the largest but least populated of the 23 Chinese provinces. 

Trouble has been brewing here in the provincial capital in recent years, a growing separatist movement claims that the region, which they view as their homeland and refer to as "East Turkestan", is not part of China, but was invaded by China in 1949 and has been under Chinese occupation since then. China asserts that the region has been part of China since ancient times, and now calls it Xinjiang Province. Xinjiang, literally meaning "New Territory" or, officially, "old territory returned to the motherland". As such, tensions are high in Urumqi, and after a few bloody terrorist car bomb attacks in recent years, there is a heavy military presence on exiting the station.

Our hotel in the centre of town, had two security guards armed with riot shields at the entrance, a tad unnerving, especially as you had to wonder what good the rather elderly looking dads army guards would do if a another riot did break out on the streets.

Urumqi provided cooler temperatures than we had experienced since Beijing, and 4 nights here with not much in the way of tourist sights to see, we bunkered down in our executive suite hotel room and recharged, ahead of our journey into deepest Central Asia. The executive suit came at no extra cost after Lo demanded we get a room that didn't smell of smoke. This suite still smelt a bit and despite it being a clearly signed non smoking room, it still had an ashtray either side of the bed and one in the bathroom.  But it was huge, so we took it.

The hotel £2 all you can eat breakfast buffet, was putting too much of a dent in our daily budget, so we had to turn it into a breakfast and a lunch buffet. Trick was to turn up just before it finished at 11, take our sweet time eating as many eggs boiled in tea (it's a thing in China) as we could stomach, and filling up a small bag of bread and jam spreads as we went up for seconds and thirds.

To the south of the city was the rather tacky looking, 1980's built grand bazaar. It was supposed to recreate the feel of the once bustling silk road markets that would have flourished here before the Chinese turned the city into a concrete jungle. A walk around the Bazaar felt more like a stroll around the elephant and castle shopping centre, but without the DVD sellers (which is quite ironic) and instead, sacks of spices and nuts for sale.

Some great food is to be had around the side streets of the bazaar. We tried our first plate of 'pollo' (mutton and rice) an Uyghur staple, and a decent pot of tea to wash it down. The most common food stall's here serve the famous naan like bread.  Large furnace ovens are constantly churning them out, and they are delicious plain (great for dipping in yogurt), with almonds and red beans, or sweeter ones with raisins and sugar inside.

The regional museum killed an hour, the walk up to it about 2 hours. Urumqi is probably the most unfriendly city for pedestrians I have ever been to. Gridlocked, six lane highways everywhere, pavements often disappear without warning or are turned into car parks, pedestrian crossing lights often don't work, and some of the most bizarre raised walkway constructs you will see in a 21st century city. The people's park and hongshan park are the only escapes from the chaos. 

We boarded the Saturday night K9595 train from Urumqi South bound for the Khazakstan border and eventually, after 33 hours, we would arrive Almaty.